Our expert says:
Sounds like her behaviour was a Bad Idea, but as though You may be a bit too emotionally involved in their lives, and maybe she needs to be MORRE involved in her own life ? Why are YOU crying about this, and apparently she isn't ?
She sounds foolish and careless, but that's her privilege, even thouygh it may have unfortunate consequences for her and others. This couple need to work this out themselves.
What does she need to be told, by you or anyone else ? That its unkind and usually seriously problematic to have affais like this ? That an unhappy should see a counsellor together and try to work things out, and, if that's not possible, should part and go their independent ways ? Surely she knows that already ?
At least tell her to stop mouthing that romantic twaddle about Anyone on earth being "the one". There is no such creature. And discourage her apparent tendency to give herself false and unhelpful instructions. Its nonsense, for instance, for her to say she CAN'T stop thinking about him - she isn't choosing to do so, but could if she really wanted to. People who keep telling themselves and others that they can't do something, never seriously try to do so, and thus make themselves fail.
Yes, if she carries on this way everyone involved will get hurt. She should try behaving like a responsible adult rather than a moony adolescent girl, and make responsible decisions and behave responsibly to minimize the hurt all round
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