advertisement
Question
Posted by: Penelope | 2011/06/03

House ownership / Divorced man

I just need to get an opinion, I am not in any side, just want to make sure I advice accordingly. It’ s easy for people to ignore things and say marriage is about love not material possessions but people divorce all the time so I think it’ s wise to sort the formalities and be on the same page about most things before you marry.
The man
He is well established financially, has his mansion house, has a great life, divorced and paid out the ex wife, still lives in the same house that he lived with ex wife but the house is only in his name. Now he met someone and planning to marry but now here are the issues.

The lady
Wants her own house too, she wants him to sell his house and buy a new house where they can start their lives and also have the house registered in her name and so forth. The man does not agree. She has already moved in and their lives are going on but clearly she is not happy with the arrangement. Is she unfair? She says she wants security… so this has nothing to do with the memories of the ex wife. Is this about the money really –  in case they divorce she wants her share? Is she worried if they divorce she may walk out without anything? Her motivation basically is the fact that the current house is only owned by the man and she doesn’ t like the arrangement. Oh and the fact that the man’ s family is so familiar to the house more than she does and he is close to his family even his younger brother used to live there with him and the ex wife so it seems she is insecure but why? They give her all the respect, it’ s her house now but obviously she feels different. What’ s going on here? I think she has a right to demand what she wants but what happens if the man says no? He is saying he bought the house years ago, everything is expensive now he has no reason to sell and go buy elsewhere and so forth. She already has a townhouse of her own that she is renting out so it’ s not like she doesn’ t own property. I mean what’ s wrong with living rent free with the man and putting her money away in her property?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The new woman in his life sounds like a gold-digger, and far too fussy. Unless his ex had a very deadly infection like Congo or Lassa fever, this woman should have no problem about living in his house just because his former wife once lived there. And why should a new house be put in her name from the start ? That sounds like she doesn't expect the marriage to last, and wants a huge chunk of wealth just for herself. And if they separated, and she kept the house as it was in his name, and he had sold his former house, where does she think he would live ?
Of course this house is owned by him and in his name - he paid for it, and she didn't. Why is that worse than it being in her name, when she didn't pay a cent towards it ? And she already owns a home i her own name - would she like to give that one to him ? OR does he plan in the future to live in two houses ?
He would not be at all wise to go ahead and marry this greedy woman. He should either move on and look for someone who actually loves him more than his money and property, or at least insist on marriage / couples counselling before setting any wedding date

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mrs P | 2011/06/03

It is not strange at all that a new wife would not want to live in the house where her husband lived with his former wife. Quite understandable.

She sems financially secure if she owns property of her own. It sound a bit like money grabbing her wanting him to buy a new house and put it in her name as well. The word divorce should not come up at all when a couple embark on this journey. The fact that she is thinking about it already and they arent even married tells me, she does not really love him for who he is, but what he has and what she can get out of it when the she leaves him.

If I was this man, I would run a mile. She does not love him, she is using him

Reply to Mrs P
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/03

The new woman in his life sounds like a gold-digger, and far too fussy. Unless his ex had a very deadly infection like Congo or Lassa fever, this woman should have no problem about living in his house just because his former wife once lived there. And why should a new house be put in her name from the start ? That sounds like she doesn't expect the marriage to last, and wants a huge chunk of wealth just for herself. And if they separated, and she kept the house as it was in his name, and he had sold his former house, where does she think he would live ?
Of course this house is owned by him and in his name - he paid for it, and she didn't. Why is that worse than it being in her name, when she didn't pay a cent towards it ? And she already owns a home i her own name - would she like to give that one to him ? OR does he plan in the future to live in two houses ?
He would not be at all wise to go ahead and marry this greedy woman. He should either move on and look for someone who actually loves him more than his money and property, or at least insist on marriage / couples counselling before setting any wedding date

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement