Posted by: charish | 2012-11-14


so here is the thing.
i have a bf we have been dating amny years now and we have a child 4 yrs old. before the child we where suppost to get married but things didnt turn out rite he accused me of cheating and i decided i did not want to be in a relationship where i had to defend myself all the time and we broke up. a feqw months later we made up and i fell pregnant. we had a child we livetogether and everything was ok i guess. We went for some couple terapy but our problems was not solved me only discoverd what they wher. he said that he did not want to marry me and i started accepting this. He is very abusive mentally and emotionally, but he will never lay a finger on me. i have decided to move on with my life but he does not know im looking for a place to stay because i dont have any family to go to. so i have been distant, i didnt talk to him or kiss him nothing. Now all of a sudden he is all lovey dovey and now also wants to get married. I feel so guilty now and i also feel like he is trying to munipulate me. i like the idea of getting married with him and having the happy ever after story, but then i thing to myself who am i fooling he is a abusive person and he dont want to go to counselling again .is this relationship worth fitting for i feel so much hate for him and he irretates me . sometimes i feel like i could kill him, what do i do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't see why you should feel guilty - your plans were reasonable in the situation you found yourself in. His recent change of mood and intentions is odd, and still needs to be properly explained. He was so abusive, even if in other ways than physical, and such people rarely just stop being abusive - they sometimes claim to have changed, more to regain control, over their victim, than due to actual change.
Dont be played again ; continue making plans for a safe dep[arture, and be pleasant but distant towards him at this stage.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Oh my!!! | 2012-11-15

This man is playing you, RUN!!!

Reply to Oh my!!!
Posted by: SAMMY | 2012-11-15

Leave him, he is a jerk and will never change. Every women deserves a man who respect, comfort and take care of her wellbeing.

Reply to SAMMY

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