Our expert says:
I recognize that you may, sincerely, feel that way,but you are being unfairly harsh. This is typical of the sort of distorted thinking which the chemistry and biology of severe depression causes. And the correct response ought to be to see a psychiarist for a proper assessment and discussion of treatment options, and get that depression effectively treated.
Everyone makes mistakes in life - wisdom doesn't consist of being brilliantly right all the time, but in choosing to learn from the mistakes and not to keep repeating them.
Research has confirmed that when depressed, we selecively notice and believe every possible negative aspect to our lives and the world in general ; and when the depression is treated, we see things in proportion. We solve problems instead of giving up.
Also, your message shows a pattern of trying not to let other people know how bad you feel, which is cutting you off from potential encouragement, help and support.
You are absolutely NOT to blame for feeling so depressed, but it is your responsibility to ensure that as soon as practical you see a proper expert psychiatrist for a thorough assessment - and be frank and tell him EVERYTHING about how bad you have been feeling, and take his advice and get proper and effective treatment.
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