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Question
Posted by: Justine | 2010-01-29

Hopeless

I dont know what to do or feel anymore, to be honest i dont know if i feel anything anymore. My boyfriend has been treating me very bad and rude the past few months. I try to help him around with his house chores and stuff and in spite of that he is just acting very selfish and unthankfull. I' ve come to realize that i' m the " hunter"  in the relationship and always the first one to make contact. It is like he completely lost interest in me. I have decided that im not gona let him treat me like this anymore and i stopped to contact him first or go visit ect. Is this the right decission? Its been 2 days and i havent heard a word from him. I keep blaming myself and think im at fault here. I feel very depressed and sad but i feel like its the only option i have left since runing after him only seems to make things worse. What do i do? I know most people would think " just leave him"  but i really do love him and i want things to work out. I just feels like im giving 110% and him only 5%. Please give me some advice :-( We have been together for a few years now and i get the idea he is in a " comfort"  zone with me

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

IF he is treating you badly, that's a sign of HIS badness, not yours. You have lost nothing whatever in moving on from him - the sadness you feel is more about losing your fantasy about how good things were expected to be, with him, than about losing how they actually were.
Never "run after" a pal - if you need to run after them, they're not worth catching.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Big Girl | 2010-01-29

Justine...agree with C

Ask yourself these questions...

1.....Is what he does to me of emotional value, is he worth the beautiful love i give him?

2.....Is he the breath that keeps my body and soul alive, without him I' m presumed dead?

3.....Am i feeling this way because he is the one doing it, if I was the one who did it first, would i be still feeling this hurt?

Reply to Big Girl
Posted by: C | 2010-01-29

Time will heal. Byt vas, daar is ' n maiki vi jou daar buite.

Reply to C
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-29

IF he is treating you badly, that's a sign of HIS badness, not yours. You have lost nothing whatever in moving on from him - the sadness you feel is more about losing your fantasy about how good things were expected to be, with him, than about losing how they actually were.
Never "run after" a pal - if you need to run after them, they're not worth catching.

Reply to cybershrink

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