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Question
Posted by: Anna | 2008-12-12

Hopeless

I am seeing this guy who i love to bits. We know each other for 5 years. Problem is he treats me like no woman would want to be treated. Things he does doesnt make sense and he knows he is treating me bad. I want to get over him but for some reason i cant leave him. I get so depressed when there are things going wrong between us. He makes me depressed, miserable, sad and worried all the time. I know it sounds pathetic but i cant get myself to leave this guy even if i know he treats me so bad and don' t deserve me. I read books and asked for advice but still i feel like i can' t live without him. Sometimes i even think suicide is an option...i really need to get away from this relationship. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Better to love people as a whole, than to bits. And it's not true to say you "Can't" leave him. Maybe yoiu don't want to, or you're scared of the unknown of life after him, or just don't like making up your mind about complex things like this. Buit you CAN leave him. Call a group like POWA for advice on leaving an abusive partner. You not only CAN live without him, but there can be very little doubt that you can live a whole lot happier and better without him.
Suicide is most definitely not an option. Its by far the lousiest way of leaving an abusive partner. Maybe it won't help to discuss it with him --- abusers are rarely reasonable. But see a personal counsellor to raise your self-esteem and self-confidence, and to plan an effective exit

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Our users say:
Posted by: beenthere | 2008-12-12

I know how you feel, but it is possible to live without this guy - i have been there! 2 years later - it still hurts but i wouldn' t go back. All you need is positive thinking and support from friends and family, just be glad that you are not married and you can still get out of this painful relationship.

Reply to beenthere
Posted by: hope | 2008-12-12

Hi Anna

Sucide isnt an option, no matter how bad it is it will get better but you have to believe that for yourself. Why dont you tell him about the way you feel and discuss it with him, counselling is an option aswell. Either he changes his behaviour towards you or you are left with no option but to leave him and move on. You also need to boost your self esteem so you can make informed discissions that will help you , because if he treats you badly that will lower your self belief.

i hope things works out for you...

:)

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