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Question
Posted by: Jane | 2012/09/10

Holding on to belongings

Hi Doc
My situation, Me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago (mutual breakup) due to some important issues we couldn''t agree on. A week after the break-up i wanted to fetch my things that i left at his place, he refused saying i should give him time, i travelled to also get my head cleared two weeks later on my return i contacted him and met at his place to collect my things (mostly clothes), i had other kitchen things like tupperwares, cooler bag etc in his kitchen (besides the stuff i gifted him, which i did not want), on the day i collected my clothes i asked if i can get my kitchen things but he had a braai and his friend''s gilfriend were working in the kitchen and using some items and he said he will bring the the following day. Its been weeks now, he is avoiding my calls, my text messages even when i beg and promise him i am not trying to get him back but want my things, the thing is i don''t care about tupperware but there is one personal item i accidentally left which i cannot be without. I once asked him if he doesn''t want to see me he can drop the things at his friend''s place which is close to my house. Why would he be so stubborn in just returning my things, i for one hate hanging onto someone''s belongings if we arent together. Or is it just his weakness because when i met him he still had his ex-''s spare keys, which i never bothered him to return it. Anyway I thought of asking his friend to talk to him but it feels like i will be taking it too far by involving the other prson. I need that one personal item, don''t know how to approach this, please advic

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why did HE need time, for YOu to fetch your belongings ? And now, why be so mean and odd about giving you back your kitchen things ?
Maybe he needs a text message saying, as you are not responding to my messages and calls about my receiving some remaining items belonging to me which you are currently holding, what do you want me to do about this ? Shall I contact your office manager and ask them to assist me ? This is no time for him to be trying to keep souvenirs. Maybe emphasize that there is one particular item that is personally highly important to you, and that you really do want it back.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/10

Why did HE need time, for YOu to fetch your belongings ? And now, why be so mean and odd about giving you back your kitchen things ?
Maybe he needs a text message saying, as you are not responding to my messages and calls about my receiving some remaining items belonging to me which you are currently holding, what do you want me to do about this ? Shall I contact your office manager and ask them to assist me ? This is no time for him to be trying to keep souvenirs. Maybe emphasize that there is one particular item that is personally highly important to you, and that you really do want it back.

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