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Question
Posted by: Pesh | 2010-05-06

HIV Test

I am currently involved in a long distance relationship and have not be intimate &  will be relocating to Pretoria to be with my husband to be . I do not know how to raise the question of HIV testing and I feel that it is very important that we do it before we take things further. How show I approach him? When is the right time to ask and how? Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAgeing and Sexuality expert

I always wonder why people find wanting this life saving discussion on HIV testing as being impolite, insulting to the other person. I know, I know the old stories about this - it may be taken to mean I do not trust you, or ,you cannot trust me as we have been apart.
This is just not good enough - it is too dangerous to avoid this conversation as you are afraid of upsetting your partner- or yourself.
I like the way you have written this right here - "I feel it is important as... " Always begin the conversation with a positive fact., as in "I am so looking forward to having you penetrate me so let's both get tested before I get to Pretoria. " No shyness, pure sexy facts:)
You go girl.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2010-05-23

I always wonder why people find wanting this life saving discussion on HIV testing as being impolite, insulting to the other person. I know, I know the old stories about this - it may be taken to mean I do not trust you, or ,you cannot trust me as we have been apart.
This is just not good enough - it is too dangerous to avoid this conversation as you are afraid of upsetting your partner- or yourself.
I like the way you have written this right here - "I feel it is important as... " Always begin the conversation with a positive fact., as in "I am so looking forward to having you penetrate me so let's both get tested before I get to Pretoria. " No shyness, pure sexy facts:)
You go girl.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: KC | 2010-05-12

Pesh- Firstly, well done for taking a responsible step to do HIV tests. Yes it is sensitive, however-I suggest you discuss this when you are up in Pret - Go to lunch / dinner and raise the issue of sex contraception and hiv testing under the same umbrella as your husband to be would realise that you are being responsible. Good luck. Prepare yourself in the vent that he refuses- how are you going to handle it. Its also better that both of you go at the same time.

Reply to KC

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