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Question
Posted by: Justine | 2010/07/06

His reputation

Dear Cybershrink

I really like this man of 55. However he has a reputation as a womaniser. I am told this by his colleague (a male) and his ex girlfriend once made a funny comment to the room at large but I remembered it (he is available but be careful of him), they had just broken up and she did the breaking up and was angry. He himself told me that I am (too decent too for him) but I will always remain a close and special friend to him. We get on G8 and I feel the mutual attraction but we never act on it, I pull back all the time mostly because I came out of a bad relationship a year ago and don''t want to be in one. But I am drawn to him. I feel sad. Because I feel in my heart that it is true about his reputation. What am I asking you? I don''t really know. I did join that Seniors Dating Website just to see who and what responses I get, but very loathe to embark on something for fear of getting hurt. I even entered under a false name.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he has that reputation it is surely for good reasons. What attracts you to a womanizer ? It's curious that you feel sensiobly cautious about an internet dating site, where people may not be all they seem to be - and yet you appear to feel much less cautious about a guy who unfortunately probably IS all he seems to be and all other folks warn you he is. On what basis do you assume he would not hurt you, while others might do so ?

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: TG | 2010/07/06

I think you should give it a chance, neither of you are in a relationship, life is short do you always want to think what if? So what if it doesn''t work out, at least you gave it a shot...

Reply to TG
Posted by: Me | 2010/07/06

You know what, i''ve learnt that situations are different - someone might be a jerk to someone else but a prins to you! i understand that you are into him it''s just that you are cautious - which is great but relationships are a huge risks - there is no guaranteed result - are you willing to take the chance?

Reply to Me
Posted by: Justine | 2010/07/06

It''s a bit more than that, it is the way he treats women apparently not only the sex thing. He is divorced and told me once that in a huge rage he swiped his ex (he said he felt really bad about it and I told him straight that any kind of violence is a no go for me and he went down in my estimation. He said true. She the ex is still close to his family and they have a son of 22 whom he adores. Funny enough he did say to me that he would not want to rush into bed but rather let us get to know each other. He (like almost everyone else) also said that you can see a mile away that I am a lady and not free and easy with my favours. I also told him in a relationship I would not stand for any nonsense. Heck, I don''t know.

Reply to Justine
Posted by: me | 2010/07/06

tell him you are celibate and see what happens - whether the affection will continue or if he''ll draw back!

Reply to me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/06

If he has that reputation it is surely for good reasons. What attracts you to a womanizer ? It's curious that you feel sensiobly cautious about an internet dating site, where people may not be all they seem to be - and yet you appear to feel much less cautious about a guy who unfortunately probably IS all he seems to be and all other folks warn you he is. On what basis do you assume he would not hurt you, while others might do so ?

Reply to cybershrink

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