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Question
Posted by: Ingiphile | 2008/06/20

His attitude sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there,
There's this thing going on btwn me & this married guy at work. 1stly we went together on a business trip to another province, while we were there he told me that hes always dreamt of kissing me & that he had a thing for me from day 1 he saw me but he never found the right place & time to say it. the whole time we were there he was trying to convince me that there was something btwn us. to be honest i never thought of him like that until he told me how he felt, & i thought he wanted to get me on bed as he is known of being a womanizer.

I told him that he is an attractive man but nothing will ever happen btwn us as i love my bf alot & not planning to ruin my happy relationship. At that moment i was attractated to him but i told my self i won't go that far-so i resisted my temporal feelings.

when we were back at the office things went back to normal with our new discovery about our feeling & i dicided to put all behind me. the problem started when i confronted him about the romour i heard that could have course damage amongst the commit that we are both in and also among our colleuges.

Infact i crossed the line as i confronted him while i was still angry at his backstabbing actions. he didn't like the fact that i confronted him & said all those things, I went back to him to apologise and he acepted my appologies. but now what I don't understand why he does not talk to me, he doen't even greet me when i greet him he ignores me. now i am sick & tired of his attitude towards me and I am nolonger greeting him iether. we are now like big enemies.

what up with him? is he still angry with the fact that I confronted him? even though i apologised for say more than i was suppose to and he acepted my apologies? Why is he so much angry with me.
Anyway I am also now so much angry with him for treating me like this.
For all I care he can go to hell coz I tried to make peace and he is making things worse.

I need advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You stuck to your values and made a wise decision --- no need for further apologies, and if he chooses to remain sulky about it, that's his affair, and no loss to you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: eish | 2008/06/20

there was an article from marriagemissions dot com or was it marriageconnections dot com, I can't recall. But the article was about apologising. In a nutshell it said that, when you offend a person (the victim) and then go to apologise, never expect that the person will heal and get over it right there and then. yet we expect our little sorry apology to mend things back to normality again. Duh:)

Let him take time to heal; do not be a typical jerk of a woman.

yes sure he is a jerk too and he is a shameless womaniser. But you? You did great you confronted and put an end to a rumour that could spiral into a veldfire that destroys a lot of people; you then went back to apologise after realising that you may have offended him, bravo! Do not expect him to be all hunkydory again. Or is it the feelings you noticed while in North West or Cape Town that inject a sense of impatience in you?

Reply to eish
Posted by: Kb | 2008/06/20

I think he feels embaressed because you turned him down, but dont let it get to you. I guess you really damaged the EGO. My boss did the same to me, and when i didnt fall for his tricks he treated me like a dog at the office. Thank goodness i eventually left. Well done to you. I wish we had more people out their with your morals.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/20

Well done on sticking with your values. I suppose the rumour was spread by him that you had sex with him? Do I understand it correctly? Perhaps he doesn't often come across a woman who not only resists him but takes him on, and he clearly has no idea how to deal with it. Ignore him if possible, deal with him in a professional manner when you have to deal with him, and let it go.

Reply to Maria

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