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Question
Posted by: Spook | 2010/04/21

Hi-jacked

I was hi-jacked at gun point and assaulted recently. The sad part, I had received no support from my hubby. Not holding me, asking if I''m ok, about my injuries. Nothing. I cannot come to terms with him letting me down.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of your awful experience - and in a way sorrier to hear your husband is being so silly and unsupportive. You don't mention whether or not he was involved in the hijacking / assault. In that case it might be that he is so wrapped up in his own reactions that he hasn't got around to thinking of yours. If he was not directly involved, he may be feeling guilty for not having somehow protected you from this evemt, and distracted by that. But those are at best partial explanations, not excuses for being unfeeling and unhelpful.
But men often have surprisingly much difficulty in handling emptional situations, feeling incompetent to be helpful, or unsure of how to be helpful, and then trying to ignore the reality altogether. Do see a counsellor for your own sake ; and maybe after some sessions you could invite him along, with the counsellor's assistance, to help him to understand

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: mr no | 2010/04/21

sorry to hear about your hubby not taking care of you, that is so wrong, may i ask how are you really doing wish i can give you a big hug and hold you very tight.

well here is a hug for you, or maybe he doesn''t know how to deal with this and feels that he neglected you for not being able to help or assist you and now he is withdrawing.

I would suggest that you go see somebody to speak to and try to help you get through this bad ordeal.

Strongs to you and take care Spook

Reply to mr no
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/21

Sorry to hear of your awful experience - and in a way sorrier to hear your husband is being so silly and unsupportive. You don't mention whether or not he was involved in the hijacking / assault. In that case it might be that he is so wrapped up in his own reactions that he hasn't got around to thinking of yours. If he was not directly involved, he may be feeling guilty for not having somehow protected you from this evemt, and distracted by that. But those are at best partial explanations, not excuses for being unfeeling and unhelpful.
But men often have surprisingly much difficulty in handling emptional situations, feeling incompetent to be helpful, or unsure of how to be helpful, and then trying to ignore the reality altogether. Do see a counsellor for your own sake ; and maybe after some sessions you could invite him along, with the counsellor's assistance, to help him to understand

Reply to cybershrink

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