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Question
Posted by: Sue | 2010/04/12

Herion son

Son, age 29. Herion addict. Been on Subutex 10 months. 1mg. won''t buy for him anymore. Now withdrawing from that. Craving badly. Back on weed. Totally non-functioning even when on subutex. Has suffered depression even before drugs. Two life threatning conditions. Been to rehab against his will. Does not want/cant live without drugs. Am watching him kill himself. My soul is dying too. No more money for rehab even if he wanted to go. Where to now?

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Our expert says:
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Hello S

This is a terrible situation for you, in fact, for any parent. You are probably overwhelmed, so you will have to start with first things first.

Talk to other people who are in the same boat and join a support group such as Narconon. You don't say where you live, but you can Google them to find a meeting near you.

It is vital that you speak to people in the same situation; please don't do this on your own.

It looks like your son does not want to be helped. There are various options, one being that he is admitted through the courts to a state institution, where you have him sectioned.

He will have to stay there until THEY decide that he is better.

The other option is some tough love. Kick him out of home. He's sponging off you and you are enabling him by feeding him and giving him a roof over his head.

Once he finds himself on the streets he might change his mind. Do not feed and clothe him any more, enough is enough.

His depression can only be addressed once he is clean and it is probably linked to his usage of drugs.

You mention that he smokes dagga, well, that is one of the biggest depressants that you can find.

Don't listen to his nonsense any more; addicts are highly manipulative people and know how to suck you dry of sympathy, money and energy. And they wallow in self induced self pity.

Let it STOP today. He must go to a state rehab or he must leave home. TODAY. No more Ms Nice, please, you have been taken for a silly fool for long enough now.

If you would like to discuss this for more guidance, please feel free to email us. It all might seem overwhelming and what I suggest above might seem harsh.

So please feel free to email ruby@harmonyclinic.co.za

We will help and advise where we can. Best of luck.

To wrap up. Join a support group, stop feeling sorry for him, admit him to a rehab or kick him out, and feel free to email us for further assistance.

Remember, there is always hope.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: herman@harmonyclinic | 2010/04/15

The Kempton Park Magistrate Court has told you a lie. Addicts like your son can be sectioned and evaluated by a social worker. Please make an effort to join Narconon, you do not have to take this terrible journey on your own.

There is help available. Make use of it. You mention that your son was depressed before the addiction kicked in. That doesn''t matter. Most depressed people don''t become addicts. It is not a given that depression is going to lead to addiction.

Your son, I gather, is hiding behind this little alibi. Typical addict, they have to blame something, or someone.

I am sorry for your son, but as I said before, you are enabling him by giving him a roof over his head. And a plate of food nogal. Sounds great to me, in fact, it''s any addicts dream existence.

And you take him to the doctor when he is sick. Wow, he is really taking you for a ride. He is nearly 30 and still living like a teenager.

You have to take action here: he must go into treatment or leave your house. Enough is enough.

Reply to herman@harmonyclinic
Posted by: Sue | 2010/04/14

We are manipulated etc and all the bad things that go with this habit. We have kicked him out when he stole money from us. He was gone for 4 days and I thought I was going to DIE. I was an absolute wreck. Please believe, I am not nice to him, he says I degrade him all the time but please you must understand, I don''t look at him as my son, I see him as a drug addict, and I can''t and won''t believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Yes he has a roof over his head and food and if he is ill I will take him to a doctor but not to treat the addiction, we have spent too much already which we cannot afford and we are no further along. He never went the full program after discharge.

I did phone the Kempton Park Magistrates Court and the magistrate told me that she couldn''t help me because it''s against human rights. Funny how I have no right to peace, security etc.


The depression was before the drugs, he only started drugs at age 23.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Addictions Expert Forum | 2010/04/13

Hello S

This is a terrible situation for you, in fact, for any parent. You are probably overwhelmed, so you will have to start with first things first.

Talk to other people who are in the same boat and join a support group such as Narconon. You don't say where you live, but you can Google them to find a meeting near you.

It is vital that you speak to people in the same situation; please don't do this on your own.

It looks like your son does not want to be helped. There are various options, one being that he is admitted through the courts to a state institution, where you have him sectioned.

He will have to stay there until THEY decide that he is better.

The other option is some tough love. Kick him out of home. He's sponging off you and you are enabling him by feeding him and giving him a roof over his head.

Once he finds himself on the streets he might change his mind. Do not feed and clothe him any more, enough is enough.

His depression can only be addressed once he is clean and it is probably linked to his usage of drugs.

You mention that he smokes dagga, well, that is one of the biggest depressants that you can find.

Don't listen to his nonsense any more; addicts are highly manipulative people and know how to suck you dry of sympathy, money and energy. And they wallow in self induced self pity.

Let it STOP today. He must go to a state rehab or he must leave home. TODAY. No more Ms Nice, please, you have been taken for a silly fool for long enough now.

If you would like to discuss this for more guidance, please feel free to email us. It all might seem overwhelming and what I suggest above might seem harsh.

So please feel free to email ruby@harmonyclinic.co.za

We will help and advise where we can. Best of luck.

To wrap up. Join a support group, stop feeling sorry for him, admit him to a rehab or kick him out, and feel free to email us for further assistance.

Remember, there is always hope.

Reply to Addictions Expert Forum

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