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Question
Posted by: Tuscan | 2011/08/18

Her over protective family

Im 31 &  she is 26, we were dating for 2 years and have been broken up for 5 months now. We have been seeing each other on the odd occassion for the past 3 months without any of her family memebers knowledge. she has a family that got so involved in our relationship that it tore us apart. her sister is a jealous control freak,that puts her down every opportunity she gets. there is a history that the sister did this in her previous relationshipas she wants to be the one with the best of everything(in this case the lime light on her relationship)

what i am getting at is, she doesnt want to get back together cuz she feels she cant hurt her family by getting back with me as they now hate me for opening my mouth about the problem. i am heart broken as she loves me and i her and we cant be together. it feels like a romeo and juilet story but one sided,as my family let me decide who i want to date and wont hold any fights we might have against the person.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you're still meeting, and in secret, you haven't broken up. Not really.
If she allows her sister to stick her nose in and interfere in her friendships and life, that's a really bad sign. If she thinks it would "hurt" her interfering and selfish family, what hope is there for the relationship ?
Doesn't sound like she's ready to declare adult independence and live her own life, with or without you

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Bob | 2011/08/18

Best descion you could make - good luck

Reply to Bob
Posted by: tuscan | 2011/08/18

Thanks CS
Im gonna end this as you are right,i cant waste my time with someone that is scared to upset family for the one she" loves" 

Reply to tuscan
Posted by: Tuscan | 2011/08/18

Hi Bob,

That is true, i have asked her that i go see them and she says,she is scared to even mention my name at home!!

if she really wanted us back together,do you think she should approach them and arrange a meeting to discuss thing?

Reply to Tuscan
Posted by: Bob | 2011/08/18

If she sneaks around behind her parents back to meet you she is obviously too immature for a relationship. A mature person would inform her parents about her feelings for you and negociate a way forward with all parties including yourself.
A mature man would assist in this and not go against his girlfriends parents knowing the pain it causes all.

Reply to Bob
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/18

If you're still meeting, and in secret, you haven't broken up. Not really.
If she allows her sister to stick her nose in and interfere in her friendships and life, that's a really bad sign. If she thinks it would "hurt" her interfering and selfish family, what hope is there for the relationship ?
Doesn't sound like she's ready to declare adult independence and live her own life, with or without you

Reply to cybershrink

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