advertisement
Question
Posted by: CD | 2011-12-13

Her career

I am in love with a woman that I''ve got back with after 20 years. Our relationship ended because I wanted a woman who would be more wifely. I was stupid and loved her all the years and my marriage did not work out. We are back together now. She has now decided to continue with her studies and needs to do important work in order to get funding and clearance for her study. She has asked me that we take a break until February as our relationship sometimes becomes volatile and she says that I fight ugly as I bring up things from the past and this upsets her so that she cannot concentrate on her work. I know that I am wrong but when we fight I cannot help it. I ignore her for a day or two and know that she suffers. She has been patient with me but now says she cannot afford the time to work on our problems and her study. She feels she has given me enough opportunity to change and that if I want this relationship we should wait until February. I dont understand her work except that it becomes very intense. She has always been a studious person while I like fun and parties. Career-wise she is streets ahead though she says I am good company for her she is afraid our lifestyles are not always compatible. I have always loved her and am so lucky to have her back. I dont know if I can live till February without her but can''t promise either that we won''t fight.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why not see a couples counsellor together to not only work on some of these specific chafing points, but to improve your joint problem-solving skills ? It sounds as though there are enough differences in your personal styles and habits, to need to develop such skills if the relationship is to have a realistic chance of success.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2011-12-13

Frankly it sounds to me as if she is not interested in the relationship any more and is trying to send you a message. It doesn''t appear as if the things that bothered you about her in the first place have changed at all, and you seem to want very different things out of life. To have a chance of succeeding, two people in a relationship must have at least some things in common.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-12-13

Why not see a couples counsellor together to not only work on some of these specific chafing points, but to improve your joint problem-solving skills ? It sounds as though there are enough differences in your personal styles and habits, to need to develop such skills if the relationship is to have a realistic chance of success.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement