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Question
Posted by: WORRIED MOM | 2011/12/14

HELPER

my helper looks after my 7 year old daughter and she is a humble and friendly person. she cooks very well and keeps the house neat and tidy. she sleeps in and goes home on weekends.

when she started she told me that the ex husband was violent and as s results she suffered some hear injuries and sometimes she would say things that do not make sense.

she started working with me in april 2011 and after some time i noticed that she is forgetful and lacks the self control. she is unable to be firm with my daughter and instead my daughter is giving her instructions. i had a talk with my daughter and told her she must respect and listen to helper.

at one point helper confessed that she is scared of the daughter since she shouts at her. she fetches my daughter from school and at one point she left her by the gate of our complex with the security guards. i found out about the incidence thru a neighbour and when i asked helper she said my daughtter insisted to remain at the gate hence she left her and came to the flat. i then asked her that this is not allowed since the safety of the child comes first..

on another occasion i asked her to choose if she wants to work or dig in rubbish bins. this was becos my daughter reported that when helper fetched her from school, while they were walking to the flat, she stopped and opened the rubbish bins that were lined up on the street. i told her that if she does that then she will be fired and she promised that it will not happen again. she said when she was unemployed she used to survive by digging on rubish bins.

now the schools are closed and she looks after the daughter during the day. after work i asked her, what did daughter eat for luch and she said daughter said she does not want food. but i asked, how can the child not eat the whole day? she said the daughter did not want food and perhaps its maybe becos she was playing with her friends. and that explanation was not enough for me. when i left that moning, daughter only ate cornflakes. so i reminded her again that the daughter must eat lunch and its important. if she is unsure of anything she must rather call me to clarify.

another concern is that she have been coughing since she started working for me and now my daughter has started getting sick and coughing as well. i dont not know if the daughter got infected by her or she got it from school. i convinced her may times to see doctor and she was reluctant. i then took her to the doctor in july and she go some medication. she was refereed to clinic to do tests and they said she has diabeties and its high hence she is coughing. she is taking the medication and goes for check up every month, but she is still coughing occasionally, especially at night.

and when the daughter visit friends, i requested she need to escort her to the friend''s flat. but often times she lets her go unescourted, and says she was busy ironing or cleaning.

so given these reasons, i think she needs to go and then i can check another helper for next year. someone promised that she will bring me a helper from lesotho, but i want someone who will go home on weekends cos i need my space too. we get along well but i think she is not suited to work with children. everytime when we talk she would say that ''''please do not terminate my work''''

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand why you are worried about her ability to adequately care for your daughter, and also why you feel sorry for her. Maybe she's an abused woman, by her ex, but this needs to be dealt with with the assistance of a social worker, and not through her employment. Maybe explore whether she could see someone in social services to advise and help her cope with her general situation. And be sure you keep strictly within the law about terminating the work of any employee

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Ali | 2011/12/18

perhaps look for someone else...

Reply to Ali
Posted by: Honestly saying | 2011/12/15

Just make sure that you do it the right way. I hope your UIF is up to date, and also you need to pay her a notice period or a retrenchment package, otherwise you may just find yourself at the CCMA.

Reply to Honestly saying
Posted by: Maria | 2011/12/15

I think you should find another helper. I for one would not leave my child in the care of someone who seems to be unstable, given her behaviour as described above. She should know that your child''s safety and wellbeing is a priority. You need to make a decision based on that and not because you pity this woman.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/15

I understand why you are worried about her ability to adequately care for your daughter, and also why you feel sorry for her. Maybe she's an abused woman, by her ex, but this needs to be dealt with with the assistance of a social worker, and not through her employment. Maybe explore whether she could see someone in social services to advise and help her cope with her general situation. And be sure you keep strictly within the law about terminating the work of any employee

Reply to cybershrink

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