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Question
Posted by: Renata | 2009-03-19

Help with my fiance' 

i have a problem with with my fiance'  not want to be seen with me in public since i was pregnant and also after the birth of our baby. I have gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and is left with the weight after the baby' s birth, but the thing that amazes me is his exgirlfriend and ex wife were also overweight, but he went all over with them. Sometimes i even think it is because i am coloured and he is black and all his the ladies he had before me was also black, maybe that is the reason he does not want to be seen with me in public.

I have discussed this several times with him before, because it is really eating me inside, since i am the first lady he has ever impregnatedand he is treating me like a piece of trash. Whenever i discussed this with him his answer was that i am paranoid and imagining things.

I' ve also got a problem with the ladies at work, since i love to be always dressed very neat, at first they used to compliment me now they playhate me. They always make funny remarks about my clothes now. I don' t know am i just sensitive or is the problem really with my husband or these people.

Lastly just want to mention that i am suferring from major depression, do you think i am really paranoid.

Please help me as i am having lots of suicidal ideas these days, cause i love my fiance'  with all my heart and do not want to loose him.














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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This must be very distressing for you. And of course nobody can tell you why he is reacting in this unkind way, except him. I don't think you're "really paranoid", but tis could be related to the major depression you say you suffer from--- which I think should receive CBT style counselling, and not only medication. If you are feeling this upset, and even thinking of suicide, it's obvious your depression is not being properly treated yet. Make sure you see a good local psychiatrist for a second opinion and a full re-assessment, and make sure you tell him everything yopu've mentioned in this message

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: D | 2009-03-20

Hi,

If you can afford to see a dietician, they can work out a good eating plan and probably recommend medication to speed up the process of losing weight!

I know the feeling, my baby is 7 months and I am huge, my boyfriend an I literally look like Laurel and Hardy...lol !

I think you will feel much better once you start seeing the dietician it gave me confidence, I just started anf have a long way to go(medical related), but just knowing its possible, helps alot, and just think those envious b.....s will be even more jealous and will shut them up once you start losing weight!

Do it for yourself, a baby takes alot out of you and maintaing a relationship abd still worrying about how you look and how others look at you...and anyway he should understand that theres alot of hormones raging after pregnancy and that if he sees you taking an effort trying to lose weight it will probably change his attitude!

I plan to look like a super model at the end of the year.....hahahahahaha

Hope all works and don' t think of suicide because of a guy, you have a precious baby he or she is what is more important!

Reply to D

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