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Question
Posted by: nikkidv | 2010-11-17

Help - stepdad

Hi, from the age 10-19, I was repeatedly sexually molested by my stepdad, and today I found out he is trying to force their domestic worker into sleeping with him.. She came to me with a recorded conversation he had with her trying to convince her that it's the only way he will be able to fully trust her. I want to tell my mom, but not sure how.. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Just tell her. She may already have suspicions, and it is relevant to her as well as to you. Top marks to your domestic for having recorded his ridiculous and manipulative arguments - she should duplicate those recordings and place them in safe places. If he was implying that she would have to sleep with him to keep her job, that could I suspect have been against the law.
Just talk this over calmly with your mom ( once the copies of the recordings are in safe places ) and start by talking about what the domestic reported to you, and the existence of the tape which you have heard - and when she has begun to digest that, mention that he acted abusively towards you, too, and that you have been concerned about telling her about this, but want to ask for her help.
What he has been doing is wrong and criminal, and clearly, having got away with abusing you ( and, who knows, maybe others ) he feel free to continue to abuse others. It would obviously be best to act with your mother's support and help, but if she will not act, then you should report this, with the domestic, to the police, with your complaint and hers, and ask for the police to investigate. Such abusers should not be protected from the legal consequences of their acts

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2010-11-18

Even though it happened long ago, you can still go lay a charge of child molestation against him. Even worse than the possibility of passing on some disease to your mom is the possibility that he might be molesting other underage girls! He must be stopped and you''re the only person who can currently do this.

It will be difficult to go through a court case as the victim but always remember that you might be saving one or more girls from being molested by this paedophile in future.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Nikki | 2010-11-17

Thanks, she knows what happened to me, I told her. But she didn''t do anything about it, I think she was to scared to leave him and also needed the financial assistance. But I really want her to divorce him now, all I keep thinking is what if he gives her AIDS or some sexual related disease. But I am also scared he might react violently if she confronts him.. I have asked the domestic worker to make a police case, but she doesn''t want to go to court, she says it not such a big deal to involve the police. I think it is! I think I may be seeing this an my oppertunity to help her get away from him for good..

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-11-17

Just tell her. She may already have suspicions, and it is relevant to her as well as to you. Top marks to your domestic for having recorded his ridiculous and manipulative arguments - she should duplicate those recordings and place them in safe places. If he was implying that she would have to sleep with him to keep her job, that could I suspect have been against the law.
Just talk this over calmly with your mom ( once the copies of the recordings are in safe places ) and start by talking about what the domestic reported to you, and the existence of the tape which you have heard - and when she has begun to digest that, mention that he acted abusively towards you, too, and that you have been concerned about telling her about this, but want to ask for her help.
What he has been doing is wrong and criminal, and clearly, having got away with abusing you ( and, who knows, maybe others ) he feel free to continue to abuse others. It would obviously be best to act with your mother's support and help, but if she will not act, then you should report this, with the domestic, to the police, with your complaint and hers, and ask for the police to investigate. Such abusers should not be protected from the legal consequences of their acts

Reply to cybershrink

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