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Question
Posted by: Kelly | 2011-01-20

Help pls

Dear doc,

I know what i have done is wrong - i know that its so wrong, and inconsiderate, and selfish etc... I kissed another guy, behind my bf''s back, and the guilt is eating me alive.
Ive been with him for almost 4 years.. and we have faught so badly so regularly, and we have broken up sooo many times, and tried again and again... i think we bring the worst out in each other. We are good people.. (well no me clearly - since i have kissed someone - that i care for - known him for years, and i guess i needed to be noticed, and appreciated for a little while by someone, that i know does...) Does this make sense?
I share a house with my bf, and our lease is only over at end of this year, I dont know where to go... how to get out... i dont want to hurt him - he''s very special to me...
Im terrified of actually finaly leaving and staying broken up - i have tried for almost 4 years to try understand him, and fix what has clearly been broken between us for all this time....Im terrified of regretting not conditioning my mind, into staying, and giving up my social independant life i yearn for so badly...
Im terrified of actually leaving, and missing him, and seeing what ive been trying to see in him after all this time...
Im so conflicted at this point in my life, and im so afraid of the outcomes of my choices....

Will we finaly stop arguing over silly things? will we finally get on track to a healthy relationship??? Why hasnt it happend for us after our trying sooo hard all this time? He still wants to carry on trying.. and he wants to be with me... and i just feel so tired, and drained....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Excessive agonising over a foolish kiss doesn't help anyone. This sounds like a troubled relationship anyway - see a couples counsellor together and see what can be fixed, or at least make a well-informed decision to break up and move on.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-20

Excessive agonising over a foolish kiss doesn't help anyone. This sounds like a troubled relationship anyway - see a couples counsellor together and see what can be fixed, or at least make a well-informed decision to break up and move on.

Reply to cybershrink

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