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Question
Posted by: renier | 2010/09/27

help please

i have this urge to sleep with black woman (nothing racist) i have a g/f but i drive around a lot during the day and i see black female sex workers sometimes. so i will stop and ask how much they charge and if i can see there breasts and other parts i have also got a handjob from one sexworker but i used a condom. I am a white male and 26 years old. What can i do to get this out of my mind. Please help i wont sleep with one but i fantasise about it when i mastrubate

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, most people have one or more fantasies that turn them on when they think about it, often things which they actually would not do in real life, or which they would find disappointing in real life. And fantasies that remain fantasy usually don't do much harm.
I wonder what you are actually asking here. Are you concerned that you have this particular fantasy ? Or wanting to understand why you do ?
You say you "won't sleep with one", presumably meaning you don't plan to actually do this in reality, but you have had at least one sexual experience of this sort, though a cautious one.
What does the fantasy represent ? Well, you'd need to explore this with a counsellor to get useful clarity about this. For a young white male, a posible black sexual partner could represent several things - for instance, in the recent past it was seen, as it probably still is in some areas od society ) as the great taboo. We're the only country in the world, so far as I know, which made it an actual criminal offense to have sex, based entirely on the race of the participants - and the forbidden can become more appealing, a factor which frustrates those who get more turned on by trying to regulate or control the morals and sexual behaviour of others.
Often, the idea of sex with someone of a different racial or ethnic group or nationality represents more of an adventure, with someone whose behaviours and tastes are more unknown to you ; or who you may assume to be more uninhibited than you or of partners more similar to you.
The idea of you driving round a lot by day, talking with black sex workers, suggests you are sorely rtempted to act out your fantasies. If you did, there would be the usual risks and potential problems of having sex with any sex worker ( including the risk of HIV/AIDS and other STD ), but otherwise in itself its not necessarily more problematic.
Is there an element of the oposite, although you say you have a girlfriend, that there is something about the prospect of sex with white women of a more closely similar cultural background to your own, which in some way troubles you ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Horny Guy | 2010/09/27

renier, i have the same problem, and i have come to realisation that the only way to cure this fantasies, is to physically do it, and i am working on it, i cannot wait to cum

Reply to Horny Guy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/27

Well, most people have one or more fantasies that turn them on when they think about it, often things which they actually would not do in real life, or which they would find disappointing in real life. And fantasies that remain fantasy usually don't do much harm.
I wonder what you are actually asking here. Are you concerned that you have this particular fantasy ? Or wanting to understand why you do ?
You say you "won't sleep with one", presumably meaning you don't plan to actually do this in reality, but you have had at least one sexual experience of this sort, though a cautious one.
What does the fantasy represent ? Well, you'd need to explore this with a counsellor to get useful clarity about this. For a young white male, a posible black sexual partner could represent several things - for instance, in the recent past it was seen, as it probably still is in some areas od society ) as the great taboo. We're the only country in the world, so far as I know, which made it an actual criminal offense to have sex, based entirely on the race of the participants - and the forbidden can become more appealing, a factor which frustrates those who get more turned on by trying to regulate or control the morals and sexual behaviour of others.
Often, the idea of sex with someone of a different racial or ethnic group or nationality represents more of an adventure, with someone whose behaviours and tastes are more unknown to you ; or who you may assume to be more uninhibited than you or of partners more similar to you.
The idea of you driving round a lot by day, talking with black sex workers, suggests you are sorely rtempted to act out your fantasies. If you did, there would be the usual risks and potential problems of having sex with any sex worker ( including the risk of HIV/AIDS and other STD ), but otherwise in itself its not necessarily more problematic.
Is there an element of the oposite, although you say you have a girlfriend, that there is something about the prospect of sex with white women of a more closely similar cultural background to your own, which in some way troubles you ?

Reply to cybershrink

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