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Question
Posted by: cc | 2010/01/11

Help please

I am so angry.... When do u tell family to leave u alone...my mother passed away 2 years agooo..my dad now lives on his own..anyway on saturday my aunt phones me and tells me I must put my father in a instation and sell all his furniture wich she will buy.... Anyway my father has prostate problems...he is seeing the specialist today...his brother came to visit him for 3 days... the pitched the wed afternoon at 3..my dad made some chicken curry for the night...the thursday they were out all day...came back at 5 the afternoon and went out for dinner the evening... the friday they were home....had something light to eat for lunch and the wvwning had a braai...they left on saturday when this aunt calls me and tells me my dad doesn' t cook and he doesn' t cleans and he falls asleep on the couch... mind u du to the prostate problems he gets up nearly every hour during the night... now I ask is this the kind of person u put into an instetution...????? My nerves are up with my aunt... She is obsedded with my late moms clothes jewerley etc..I had to fight with her just to get my mom' s watch back that she didn' t want to give back.... I really don' t know what to do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes it could be wise for an old person to move to an institution for their own good, IF they are genuinely incapable of protecting themselves and their own interests. But this would only be done with the opinion of an expert shrink that this was indeed the case - not just because a bossy auntie insists on it.
Ad having prostate problems is not a reason for making such a decision -he should see a urologist for assessment and treatment of the prostate problem.
Tell auntie to stop interfering or you will suggest that SHE should be considered for an institution, before your dad.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: cc | 2010/01/11

he still drives and cooks for himself.he saw the specialist today...

Reply to cc
Posted by: Maria | 2010/01/11

If your dad is capable of dealing with the situation, ask him to speak to her. Otherwise it sounds as if he is still quite capable of looking after himself and you can just ignore her. I do suggest that you have some sort of contingency plan in case he gets sick and does need care.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/11

Sometimes it could be wise for an old person to move to an institution for their own good, IF they are genuinely incapable of protecting themselves and their own interests. But this would only be done with the opinion of an expert shrink that this was indeed the case - not just because a bossy auntie insists on it.
Ad having prostate problems is not a reason for making such a decision -he should see a urologist for assessment and treatment of the prostate problem.
Tell auntie to stop interfering or you will suggest that SHE should be considered for an institution, before your dad.

Reply to cybershrink

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