Posted by: cold | 2009/04/15

help please?!

Hi Doc,

I have been diagnosed with depression, i Want to know if a parents depression can cause your child to act out and really strange?

my child is 5 Years old and she makes me so mad that i sometimes feel i hate her, she constantly heards herself on purpose, like over the long weekend she somewhere got hold of a small pease of glass and she did cut herself 3 times over her hand, Not deep but surface scratches, that made me so mad that i just started screaming at her and saying stuff without putting any thought into it and i felt bad about it afterwards and only then realised what i have said, i get so angry that i get raelly red in my face and it is all hot, she also gives mean tantrums wich laeds to another furios fight between us, i am seeking help and i feel that i am to blame for her miss behavior. is my depression causing her to do this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The answer to your opening question is no, no really, not like that. When one is depressed, one doesn't usually handle the usual challenges of child-rearing as well as one would at other times, and when mom or dad are not quite themselves, a child tends to act up more. Remember, it may be very reasonable to hate some of what the child does, without any need to hate the child herself, the doer. But it is troubling for a child to be deliberately mutilating or harming herself in the way you describe, and I would prefer such a child to be seen by a child shrink for assessment, just to be sure of what is going on.
Meanwhile, talk calmly to her about the crisis, explaining how you feel frightened when you see she has hurt herself, and you can have a temper tantrum just like she sometimes does, and its not a fgood idea for either of you to do so. Apologise, saying cleaerly that you are sorry you got so upset and for what you said. See the shrink with her, so you can both work on avoiding these crises.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009/04/15

Seeking help for yourself is good, but I think you need to seek help for her as well. A good child psychologist will not only help to get to the bottom of this, but also help with what to do about it.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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