Posted by: Nono | 2008-12-17

Help please!!

on monday my I asked my partner for a universal partnership or cohibition document seeing as he doesn' t want marriage.
he jsut pretends like he can' t hear, I sent him mail, he replied to everything else on the mail but that.
I have been living with him for years and he can' t seem to make up his mind.
funnny thing is he has affairs, pleads not to leave him then later when all as he thinks is back to normal gets stroppy and it' s like it' s all my fault now.
monday he said i was snoring the nite before and he held my nose and I opened my mouth to breath, said he could have easily put poison down my mouth.
now his said once when very drunk his done this as a joke to his late wife of which I later called her parents and they confirmed it, by the time they tried to investigate he had had her cremated already which he always says he will do to me but makes a jokesabout it.this man is bi-polar and bad when drunk, when sober it' s Jekyll and Hyde that I am dealing with.
monday he was quite nasty, said I am deaf and deaf people can' t speak properly, then I am blind so bought me readers of which he insists that I wear.
he seems recently to say nasty things to me also swearing in the F word.
I have his Nokia 6110 ph and he took mine without my permsiion as his very controlling, i found lots of address' s that I had never gone to on the GPS and when I confronted him he swore at me making me feel that I am an idiot.
he also has a bad smell during the week and will stay with his sleeping shorts on right through the weekend only bathing if we go out so I slept in the spare room as I couldn' t take the rptten smell coming out of him.
I asked if his company had aircon he said it did and I know his car has powerful aircon so why the stench,it comes through the bedding that I can' t sleep is this because of the tabs, when I speak about it he gets so annoyed and swears me.

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Our expert says:
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Maybe he doesn't feel he needs to make up his mind, because he's already getting all he wants from the relationship, without marriage.
It seems to me that too many woman start living with a man, giving him every advantage of marriage --- free sex, housekeeping, cooking, even children, but hoping that he will later on choose to marry them. Men on the other hand are more practical than hopeful, and feel if they have the advantages already, why get married ? Its like having the free loan of a great car --- why start buying it andf spoilt things ?
So he feels confident enough to have affairs, too, and he knows you will forgive him, so why not have an afairwhenever he feels like it ? And then you reveal that he has bad moods, a drinking problem, and threatens to harm you. Why on earth do you want to stay with a man like that ? Rather call a group like POWA which advises abused women on how to safely leave an abuser and make a free life for themselves.
And if he is unfaithful and smelly, you run the risk of catching unpleasant and dangeour diseases from him, too. None of the tabs he might take would cause him to be smelly, and most smelly people wash themselves.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Candy | 2008-12-17

He says he may have killed his late wife and her parents confirm this??? He' s threathing your life!!!!!!!
Why are you still with him. Do you have a death wish??
GET OUT!!!!!

Reply to Candy
Posted by: Anon-a-mousie | 2008-12-17

Why are you with this man?
Can anyone possibly be so desperate to be in a relationship that you would take all this abuse?
He hurts you physically, mentally, cheats on you, treats you worse than he' d treat a slut and you stay with him?

Don' t even talk to him any further - there is no love in this relationship. You are just someone to have sex with - for free. You might even have HIV for all you know.

Do you get off or enjoy being used, abused, treated like scum?

No i do not believe that. You should start making plans TODAY without notifying him or anything and get away from him. Don' t worry what you leave behind or material things, getting away from such a man is worth having to strart over from scratch.

YOU CAN DO THIS, many of us have. You think he is your beginning and your end but he is can get up from this and you WILL look back and think why did i not leave earlier? why did i take this?

Somewhere there is a wonderful man waiting for you but as long as you are in this mess you cannot meet him.

Come on girl - make the move!

Reply to Anon-a-mousie
Posted by: mandy | 2008-12-17

If you stay with a man for free forget about getting married he wont marry you

Reply to mandy

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