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Question
Posted by: Anon- me | 2010-04-28

help - marriage is failing

Why wont my husband listen to me when I say that our marriage is falling apart
I refuse to live a mediocre life anymore
I nor my toddler is getting the quality of life that we deserve.
We are stuck in a townhouse because my husband has put me in financial debt over the last few years
He was horrible at a corporate job and decided to do his own work however, he only seems to make money every few months
He cant go back to working as he is unqualified and end up at a low end job
His addiction to gaming has cost us dearly.
I havent had sex in three years, I suggested getting toys but he is slyly not game
He is over critical of my son and I am if something is wrong then it must be my fautly
He is a charmering personality but dont cross him or he will cross you.
When he does have anything, he will willingly spend it on us and that is true kindness
I am beginning to believe the world when they say dont marry beneath your class.
I am a degreed professional rising fast and my husband was a call centre agent.
I am no angel either. My greatest faults are working too hard and long hours to ensure that I keep my high paying job
I dont cook because I dont have the time. I barely get time with my son

Please can you give me your advice before going to a relationship therapist or even speaking to him before I go to one.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is sad how often people who are failing at a corporate / large company job, asume that they would be brilliantly successful as entrepreneurs running their own business. Very often, the same personal failings that are damaging their corporate career ( but could be more easily rectified there ) are disasterous when they try to be their own boss.
Sounds like this guy recognizes some of his failings but is unwilling to seriosuly try to rectify them, and is not prepared to take personal responsibility. And of course gambling is a fatal flaw in his schemes.
A reladtionship counsellor may be able to help - but if your husband doesn't buy into that process, admitting their are problems for which he must at least share responsibility, it won't fix the marriage - the emphasis should then be on individual counselling to work out the best for you and the child

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010-04-28

Mmmmm no sex in 3 years??

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: XXX | 2010-04-28

Clearly you both need to see a marriage counsellor ..... he sounds like a prize chop .....

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Pal | 2010-04-28

Gal, divorce him, he is lazy and you need someone that can support you

Reply to Pal
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-04-28

It is sad how often people who are failing at a corporate / large company job, asume that they would be brilliantly successful as entrepreneurs running their own business. Very often, the same personal failings that are damaging their corporate career ( but could be more easily rectified there ) are disasterous when they try to be their own boss.
Sounds like this guy recognizes some of his failings but is unwilling to seriosuly try to rectify them, and is not prepared to take personal responsibility. And of course gambling is a fatal flaw in his schemes.
A reladtionship counsellor may be able to help - but if your husband doesn't buy into that process, admitting their are problems for which he must at least share responsibility, it won't fix the marriage - the emphasis should then be on individual counselling to work out the best for you and the child

Reply to cybershrink

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