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Question
Posted by: crazy | 2008/06/10

help im going crazy.

ok ill just cut a long story short.

im in love with my gf! i love her more than life.
i asked her to marry me and she sadi yes, when i asked we kissed and she got on the phone and call her mom/sisters and all her close firends to tell them that i asked and she was so happy! it felt good knowing that i make her this happy and that she could not wait to tell people about us. we started (she) our wedding (gets bigger every day) we started looking at buying a house. planned when we going have our first kid and what his name will be (i want a boy) and things were going great!

it was my birthday 3 weeks ago, i was in the park with all my firends just playing ruby/football and just having fun.
thats when it hit me! im only 23. theres is still so much i want to do before i settle down.
i told her that we should pack our bags and go see the world and have fun for 2 or 3 months. she sadi that she has already seen the world. she did alot of traveling when she was my age, she said that she will be 28 this year aand that she was to start a family and does not have time to play any more.
i was so mad at her, she got to have fun and be young but she thinks its silly if i do it.

this last week, all i can think about is how much i hate my job. and why the hell i work so hard when im only 23. yes i have saved up alot and have the money to buy a house but that not what i what. i want to be free and have fun AND I WANT HER TO BE WITH ME TO SEE THE WORLD WITH ME. she said that i must pick. HER OR FUN i can have both.

sorry this has become a long story so ill end it.

on one hand i want to leave her, but the thought of her not being in my life drives me crazy! i feel sick just thinking about it.
but i dont think i can stay with her!

what do i do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She does need to undwerstand that you are at slightly different stages in your experience of life, and that it is not unreasonable for you to want to see a bit more of the world --- something she apparently valued enough to have made sure that she did so, previously. If it wasn't silly for her to do it, it's not silly for you to do it. It's not fair for her to expect you to abandon your dreams ; dreams she has already realized.
She is being selfish in expecting you to settle immediately, not merely into marriage but high mortgages. Maybe a couple of sessions with a relationship counsellor can straighten this out. If she really refuses to understand this reasonable basis for a slight postponement in wedlock ( now you understand the lock in wedlock ? ) then maybe, despite other appearances, she's not quite as loveable as it seemed, and maybe not the right person for you. Even from your brief comments, it sounds as though she was a bit desperate to get married

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: crazy | 2008/06/10

the thing is i want to married my gf, i just dont see why we need to buy a house ans start a family right now. its silly.

yes i have a good job and make good money but its not what i want right now. what hert me was we she said that i make alot of money so when we get married she can stop working and make babys. she has told all her family and friend what her plans are! big house nice family car, she is planning this life without talking to me at all! i have no say in any of this.

and no im not getting cold feet! i would marry her today and then sail around the world! spend 6 months or a years just being together and having fun! just us! that that what i want!

Reply to crazy
Posted by: Spokie | 2008/06/10

You are very young and yes she has seen the world. You owe it to yourself to enjoy your life. The right person will come along. As long as YOU can life with your decision.

I got married when I was 18, very young and whish I could get my life over.

If you have to money go spend some and see the world you will not get another chance.

Life can be very short and full of wrong decissions but believe me 23 with money, you crazy to get married now.

Reply to Spokie
Posted by: Babe | 2008/06/10

U r gettin cold feet mr Crazy!

Reply to Babe

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