Posted by: Zettie | 2009-03-05

Help for my husband

My husband have a bad case of depression due to work and also his libido, if he start to stress his libido is down the drain and as we trying to concieve and he can' t performand the end of the month came and I' m not pregnant then he is just more depressed although he knew that we wasn' t intemit during ovulation, he just can' t get himself so far to perform during ovulation. So its round and round and then the fact that we already have 4x miscarried also didn' t help.

Last week he told me that I also am part of the problem because he feel that I pressuring him to do something he can' t do.

So my question is how do I help him, he used cilift for a while but he couldn' t get an erection at all, he had seen a sex theripist for excercises to help him relax but he says it doesn' t help. I can just add when we eventually get to the intimit part there is nothing wrong with the doing at all. I trust him completly so I know he is not seeing someone else.

Please help me to help him.

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Our expert says:
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For most men, stress and depression can lower libido and ability to function sexually. Which then can be stresful and depressing, and so on. And not functioning well when trying to conceive, makes the vicious cycle even tighter.
Also, is it possible that he may actually, even without realizing it himself, be less keen on the idea of pregnancy than you are ? Most antidepressants ( Wellbutrin seems much less so, in this important aspect ) can cause sexual problem, in lowered libido / desire or lesser function, in SOME of those who take them, but not all. So a different AD may improve his mood without this effect --- and as I say, Wellbutrin seems least likely to have such an effect. And CBT style counselling would help him with all aspects of these problems. This mioght well be more useful to him than seeing a sex therapist as such.

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