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Question
Posted by: Rykie | 2010/09/05

Help asseblief

Ek het raad nodig om n situasie te hanteer.My 8jarige kleinseun se pa het hom en my dogter gelos en weggestap toe hy n maand oud was.Ons besef dat hy die een of ander tyd vertel moet word oor sy pa,maar weet nie hoe om dit te hanteer nie.Hy het nog nooit gevra oor sy pa nie.Ons wil egter eerder dit vir hom vertel,as wat hy op n ander manier uitvind dat sy pa hom nie wou gehad het nie.Hoe eerlik moet ons wees,en hoe vertel jy hom sonder om sy pa in n slegte lig te stel?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

qwerty is right - kids are inclined to blame themselves for it when adults do things like his irresponsible dad did, so make it clear he was and is still a loved child, whose dad did something for his own reasons and his own problems. Answer whatever questions the child has got, not those you think he ought to be asking. And ask him, early on, WHEN he raises the issue, what he thinks, so you can correct any misapprehansions and misunderstanding he may have

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: qwerty | 2010/09/06

When you do tell him about his father, don''t make it about the child, make it about the dad. Don''t tell him his dad left because he didn''t want his son - that''s a huge responsiblity to give to a child!! The dad left because of his own issues - you can decide how to colour those issues, but under no circumstances should you tell the child anything that makes it sound like it was his fault.

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/06

qwerty is right - kids are inclined to blame themselves for it when adults do things like his irresponsible dad did, so make it clear he was and is still a loved child, whose dad did something for his own reasons and his own problems. Answer whatever questions the child has got, not those you think he ought to be asking. And ask him, early on, WHEN he raises the issue, what he thinks, so you can correct any misapprehansions and misunderstanding he may have

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: gl | 2010/09/05

Moet om geen omstandighede vir jou kleinseun sê  sy pa wou hom nie gehad het nie. Die feit dat julle so lank gewag het is vreemd. Hy het seker al reeds baie vra maar te bang om te vra.

Reply to gl

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