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Question
Posted by: angel | 2012-05-17

help

okay , seriously i need good advice and my friends are not helping my age dosent matter , but me and a boy have been dating a week and he wants to take my virginity , im scared and i need advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I commend you for looking for advice because you are scared. You should feel proud of yourself for asking and not just giving in because you're not sure.

At any age I would consider this very worrying. A week is never long enough to really know anyone to know whether their wishes for you are sincere. The fact that you are scared, suggests that you are not sure and, since being sexual with someone is a very intimate thing to do, i strongly encourage you (at any age) to protect yourself first.

Age is important at the end of the day though. Please remember that the age of consent is there not because adults are keeping something for themselves, but because people under the age of 16 are vulnerable to pressure and may not be able to think through the consequences of actions in the same way as they might later in life. For example, at 12, your legs are long enough to reach the pedals on a car and you can see out the window to drive, but that doesn't mean you can pay for the petrol, make the decisions required on the road or take responsility if you are in an accident. In other words, being physically big enough is not the same as being able to make the best decisions for oneself yet...that time will not be far away. So if you ARE underage, please commend yourself for asking, that took guts and sensible thinking! Your fear is your body warning system, at this stage I believe it is right to listen and protect yourself.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sandy | 2012-05-18

If you doubt - don''t do it! The fact that you''re asking the question should already give you the answer. You''ll know when the time is right and if he has any respect for you he''ll wait until you''re ready!! Remember - when it''s gone - IT''S GONE!! You''ve only been together for a Week - you shouldn''t even be thinking about it yet!! Good luck!!

Reply to Sandy
Posted by: XXX | 2012-05-17

Wait a while before doing the deed,way too early in the relationship,particularly as you are still a virgin.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: James | 2012-05-17

Dont do it, period!!! You only know him a week. Just remember that once its gone there is no getting it back. You have to be emotionally ready for it and you have to be comfortable with it. Not to mention that maybe he just wants it as a " conquest"  and also other risks? What happens if you get pregnant? Condoms have been known to break, so could you handle the responsibilty of a child (I assume you are young) alone should it only be a conquest in his eyes and he heds for the hills after the fact?

Reply to James
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012-05-17

I commend you for looking for advice because you are scared. You should feel proud of yourself for asking and not just giving in because you're not sure.

At any age I would consider this very worrying. A week is never long enough to really know anyone to know whether their wishes for you are sincere. The fact that you are scared, suggests that you are not sure and, since being sexual with someone is a very intimate thing to do, i strongly encourage you (at any age) to protect yourself first.

Age is important at the end of the day though. Please remember that the age of consent is there not because adults are keeping something for themselves, but because people under the age of 16 are vulnerable to pressure and may not be able to think through the consequences of actions in the same way as they might later in life. For example, at 12, your legs are long enough to reach the pedals on a car and you can see out the window to drive, but that doesn't mean you can pay for the petrol, make the decisions required on the road or take responsility if you are in an accident. In other words, being physically big enough is not the same as being able to make the best decisions for oneself yet...that time will not be far away. So if you ARE underage, please commend yourself for asking, that took guts and sensible thinking! Your fear is your body warning system, at this stage I believe it is right to listen and protect yourself.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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