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Question
Posted by: Kitty | 2012/04/19

Help

Hi Doc. I need some advice. I find myself being so affraid of my loved ones dying, that I forget to enjoy the time I have with them now. My husband is 13 years older than me, and some nights I cry myself to sleep thinking what will happen to me if something should happen to him. And I think too much, is that normal. It''s like I''m constantly having discussions in my head about all kinds of things, I have arguments and fights with people in my head, which I''m to scared to do for real. I try not to think about all the things, but is difficult. It gets so bad sometimes that I get a knot in my stomach thinking..." what if I go insane or something" . Any advice on this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're so right to recognize this as a significant problem needing to be dealt with in counselling. Everyone dies, eventually, but if we focus too much on the fear of losing them later on, its as though we're killing them off right now, because we lose the chance to enjoy the joy of having them with us right now. Don't postpone the pleasures of living with the people you love.
You sound a bit Obsessive-Compulsive. CBT style counselling could help you to revise these bad habits of thought, and even some medications could help reduce the drive towards unhelpfully over-thinking. You won't go insane, however ; it just feels like that

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/19

You're so right to recognize this as a significant problem needing to be dealt with in counselling. Everyone dies, eventually, but if we focus too much on the fear of losing them later on, its as though we're killing them off right now, because we lose the chance to enjoy the joy of having them with us right now. Don't postpone the pleasures of living with the people you love.
You sound a bit Obsessive-Compulsive. CBT style counselling could help you to revise these bad habits of thought, and even some medications could help reduce the drive towards unhelpfully over-thinking. You won't go insane, however ; it just feels like that

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