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Question
Posted by: Kate | 2011/11/29

Help

Hi Doc. Please can you help me. I have been married for 7 years and together with my husband for 11 years in total. I have had two children and after my second child I decided to change the way I look as we all pick up weight while being pregnant. I have lost weight and taking care of myself. My husband on the other hand has gone the total opposite. He has just left himself go. This is seriously affecting our sex life. I just do not find him attractive anymore and I just don''t know how to fix it. The thought of him touching me just puts me off. I have tried talking to him about it but he is now so insecure about the way he looks but he just cannot be bothered to change it. What do I do? I find myself starting to notice other men and I really don''t want to go down that road. I just feel so unsatisfied sexually that I feel like I am going out of my mind. The sex was never fantastic but I enjoyed it - but now I just cannot find even the will to let him touch me. What can I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This is difficult. You will have to consult a professional for help. It may be that he has a health problem (diabetes / glucose intolerance, thyroid problems etc) or depression... One does not except that a person let go so much without investigating it. Take him to the doctor for a good check up and then consult a professional to address the sex problem - if it is still a problem. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon2 | 2011/11/30

well I can see where you are coming from......I know its wrong of me but the women I''m bonking is married and she says the same of her husband and the best part of it all is her husband gives her everything but she says that he doesnt turn her on.I have tried to stop but she has tried to commit suicide so now I feel sorry for her.
Maybe a bit of the topic.But you should realy takl to your hubby dont let it go that far if it isnt to bad already.
Hope you can get this sorted.

Reply to anon2
Posted by: fish | 2011/11/29

This is the problem with most women these days...They always seem to control everything...You have seen Handsome men outside there and now you desire them more than your Husband...The fact that your husband does''nt look good these days cannot put you away from him...Why do''nt you try to speak to Him since you have enough freedom to do as you wish these days...Tell Him to take care of Himself,and tell Him if He does''nt take care of Himself,Nobody else will...Also tell Him that is the reason He is putting you off completely...You have complete freedom in these days to say that to your Husband...He is not your mother''s Son,so why spare Him...

Reply to fish
Posted by: Another Anon | 2011/11/29

That does not exist these days.

Reply to Another Anon
Posted by: Anom | 2011/11/29

What happened to " for better or worse" 

Reply to Anom
Posted by: Daniel | 2011/11/29

Should yiou just want to chat only you can make contact with me- daniel dot daniel985 at gmail dot com

Reply to Daniel
Posted by: Daniel | 2011/11/29

I am in a similar situation. My wife has also put on weight after the birth of your second child. She does not look after herself these days. I dont find her attractive anymore. I also look at other women. Not sure when was the last time we we intimiate. I dont even want to kiss her.

Reply to Daniel
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/11/29

This is difficult. You will have to consult a professional for help. It may be that he has a health problem (diabetes / glucose intolerance, thyroid problems etc) or depression... One does not except that a person let go so much without investigating it. Take him to the doctor for a good check up and then consult a professional to address the sex problem - if it is still a problem. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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