Our expert says:
Paying attention is hard-wired into the human and indeed animal brain from the start. As we grow, we learn to pay more attention to things that are risky or pleasant, and may choose to pay less attention to things that bother us and which we wish to avoid.
Sadly, it is all too common for a mother to ignore a child's revelations that he/she is being abused. There are various, complex, reasons for this. And childhood abuse also in itself has many possible complex effects on one's feelings and atitudes as one grows. These are best dealt with by counselling with a skilled psychotherapist or counsellor, to set oneself free from the past. Sometimes the habit of not atending to unpleasant ( though relevant ) things can spread unhelpfully, and can indeed become a cause o other ificulties.
I would have expected any counsellor, including one using CBT, to have explored all these issues with you in some depth, and to have helped you deal with them with clear practical exercises and support. And that counsellor, having properly explored the range of your problems, would be in the best position to explain things helpfully
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