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Question
Posted by: warren | 2010/07/28

help

Hi I am a 40 year old architect and have been struggling to keep my head above water for the past year , with no success as of the end of September i am losing my flat and have no work on the horizon , as a consequence i have to move back in with my parent. which makes me feel like a complete failure. I have reached the point where I don’ t think it’ s worth carrying on combined with the fact that i am along i just don’ t know how to get out of this hole
Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Itsm not a sign of failure to move back with one's parents - its a sign of hard times, and sensible adaptation. If it is posible, do try to see a good local counsellor to re-evaluate your feelings of hopelessness ( and to assess qwhether there's an added degree of Depression arising ) and to calmly look at your different options and thus to make the best choices. Things can improve, if you work so as to be able to recognize opportunities and take them when they're available

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lovey | 2010/07/28

Good one Hestia.

Reply to Lovey
Posted by: hestia | 2010/07/28

the message below did get me through a difficult time. Hope it will do the same for you. Keep your head up. At least you can see forward to good times in the future.

When Your Hut''s On Fire
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, " God! How could you do this to me?"  Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! " How did you know I was here?"  asked the weary man of his rescuers. " We saw your smoke signal,"  they replied.
The Moral of This Story : It''s easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn''t lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Reply to hestia
Posted by: Was there too | 2010/07/28

2 years ago, I lost my house and hubby passed on, and was diagnosed with hiv, I went back home with my child. Afterwards my car broke down for 3 months, I had to travel by public wearing black clothes, i was so depressed, being used to having a car, it needed R16000.00 to fix. I went for 16 counselling sessions, and now I am fine, managed to leave with my budget, I can''t buy a house, but I am renting and staying with my daughter peacefully, met a new man, and we getting married soon, but I will achive better things sooner. Give it time and you will be fine, try to get professional help, church support as well. Because of my child I had to strive to make it. With the mercy of the Lord I am a survivor and I guess you will survive too. God Bless.

Reply to Was there too
Posted by: Phil | 2010/07/28

A lot of people is where you are now. This is just life, you " have"  to go through the dips. But, it also goes better. Don''t give up, give it time and you will see. A year and a bit back I was about to loose my house, my car. MAde a lot of sacrifices since then, but it is getting better. stll not able to make it through the month, but it''s getting better. I actually think we need it, to help us apprciate things more when the going is good. Trust me, it will get better.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/28

Itsm not a sign of failure to move back with one's parents - its a sign of hard times, and sensible adaptation. If it is posible, do try to see a good local counsellor to re-evaluate your feelings of hopelessness ( and to assess qwhether there's an added degree of Depression arising ) and to calmly look at your different options and thus to make the best choices. Things can improve, if you work so as to be able to recognize opportunities and take them when they're available

Reply to cybershrink

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