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Question
Posted by: Me | 2010/07/16

HELP

I had breast cancer that was followed by a mastectomy and reconstuction in January. Well 1stly, the reconstruction needs some more tweaking as I am totally deformed at this point in time. My husband realy supports me and try to make me feel good and all those things, so I know that I need to help myself. The problem is that I have no sex drive. I try to get over myself, but sometimes get so depressed, have picked up weight, and sometimes just feels like I cannot cope with life itself. I used to have a high sex drive and was quite adventurous, now I battle to get worked up, no matter what my husband tries, I hardly am the 1st one to initiate and I have faked (which I have never done before) because I do not want him to feel like an incompetent lover as he is not. Is there any OTC meds I can use to help with my libido. I already do not feel good about my body and do not want to eventually push my dh away because of my lack of interest in sex.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Me,

You need to appreciate as a women that there is a direct relationship between your emotional and psychological state of mind and your sex drive. A women is more often "receptive" to sexuality based on psychological motivations, such as a need to feel attractive, wanted, desired, affirmed, sexy, loved etc. If this is then followed up by the type of sexual stimulation that works for you the sexual encounter can unfold further.

The fact of the matter is that you are facing a tough life challenge at the moment that is taxing on you emotionally, psychologically and your need to adjust your body image will impact your sex drive understandably.

I would suggest considering some counselling to talk through these issues.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Rob | 2010/07/16

I can understand why your sex drive has gone down and I can see you try to correct this. You have gone trough quite a tough time and I suppose it is natural what is happening but for you to still try and keep your husband happy is fantastic. You are one wonderfull woman and your husband is lucky to have you for his wife!!!! I admire you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Rob
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/07/16

Dear Me,

You need to appreciate as a women that there is a direct relationship between your emotional and psychological state of mind and your sex drive. A women is more often "receptive" to sexuality based on psychological motivations, such as a need to feel attractive, wanted, desired, affirmed, sexy, loved etc. If this is then followed up by the type of sexual stimulation that works for you the sexual encounter can unfold further.

The fact of the matter is that you are facing a tough life challenge at the moment that is taxing on you emotionally, psychologically and your need to adjust your body image will impact your sex drive understandably.

I would suggest considering some counselling to talk through these issues.

Reply to Sexologist

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