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Question
Posted by: at | 2009/09/02

help

hi cs hoe gannit?cs my suster se dogter het uit gemaak met haar boyfriend(2 dae gelede) en nou het hy selfmoord gepleeg!!!!! sy voel nou baie skuldig en dink dis haar skuld.ek is baie bekommerd oor haar..sy is n baie sagte mens...sy sê  sy is okay maar ek weet nie so mooi nie....wat kan ons as familie doen om haar te help?sy het die aand net n kalmeer inspuiting by die hospitaal gekry.hy het vir haar ook n brief gelos maar sy wil dit nie lees nie...dink jy sy moet?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Good grief ! He must surely have been an extremely vulnerable and disturbed young guy at the time, and there's no way it can have been her fault that he chose to harm himself. But one must now take HER guilt and confusion very seriously, and I would suggest you arrange for her to see a shrink ( if possible ) or at least an experienced counsellor ( maybe lifeline can recommend someone in your area ) ASAP. In addition, as family you will want to make it clear to her that while you are certain this was not her fault you understand and respect her feelings, and are deeply concerned for her well-being and want her to get the help she needs and deserves. Valium-type drugs as sedatives may be used, but can actually, like alcohol, increase someone's degree of impulsivenes and hnce the risk.
I don't think she MUST read the letter he left, but maybe persuade her to let her parents read it, tl check the contents --- maybe the contents could be harmful for her a this time --- but maybe he took care to emphasiz to her that she must not blame herself, and in such a case the contents could become useful. Or suggest to her that the letter be given to her counsellor to read and discus.

And folks, doesn't a situation like this remind us of how much damage to innocent other people can be done by someone choosing to kill themselves, thinking only of their own feelings ?

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