Posted by: Sync | 2009-07-24


I have been in a relationship that lasted 7years. The frist 4 were great then she changed and bacame distant I tried to talk to her but the more itried the futther she moved away. Out of desperation i ended up hitting her and that happened 4 times. She moved out and I went 4 counselling and seha said that we can communicate whilst am going through counselling and that we' ll discuss our future once I have completed my programme. My counselor suggested that she must also attend a separate session where she can beable to deal with her anger. She rebfused and siad there is nothin wrong with her, I am the one with a problem. After I completed my programme she dumped me over the fact that I was 2 hour late to come to her place. Do you think she was stringing me along so as to come to terms with our separate living conditions? I tilss love this woman and over the years i have completely and utterly committed myself to her. Please help. I ahve spoken to her on two weeks.

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Our expert says:
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It made sense for you to start with individual counselling But then couples counselling was essential if the pair of you were to heal your relationship. For her to have refused to do so, protesting that "there was nothing wrong with her" shows either foolishness and an inability to understand what a relationship is, or defensiveness and a fear that she may indeed have contributed to the problems, and an unwillingness to contribute towards solving them.
Being dumped is unpleasant, but you are probably better off without her, and she is no oonger worthy of your love. Insisting on remaining commited to someone who is so very clearly not committed to you or the relationship, will get neither of you anywhere --- move on, with the aid of further counselling if necessary

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sync | 2009-07-26

Thanks for your response and advice. I will seek further professional help to get me through this difficult process in my life. I also wish to state, for the record, that I really regret raising my hand against her and that I don' t believe that violence is the answer to solving problems. My desperation has really thrown me off track. I would really appreciate it if there is anyone who has gone through what I have been to share their experience with me. I am sure it will be helpful. many thanks.

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