Posted by: Lady | 2009-06-28


How can i convince my b/f that his penis size is fine. He thinks it is small. He is about 5-5.5 inches (13-14cm), we measured as i thought it mite help comparing it to medical research which stated 6inch was ave. This idea back-fired as he is below 6inch. we dont have sex (mutual agreement) but we do have oral sex. He is awesome at oral and loves to give me pleasure but i still hate the fact that he thinks his small. What can i do?

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Our expert says:
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There is only so much that you can do; it sounds like you are already reassuring him about how you feel and this is ideal. You also need to know that the measure you took may not relate to the measures that were conducted in the research - you will notice that the top part (if he is standing up) is 'shorter' than the back side (the penis continues into the body cavity and I'm not sure which measure the studies took).

Possibly you could ask him what he thinks the importance of size is and where/when he first began to worry about this. Often this develops early on in adolescence because of a number of errors in judgement. If this is the case, he needs to work this through. Some relevant factors may include nor recognising that...the size of the penis when it is soft does not determine it's size when it is erect, and it it looks smaller when looking down on it than it will from the side (as you see other men's penises in the loo's). He also could be reminded that most vaginas can accommodate any sized penis - (think that a vagina holds something as slim as a tampon, and can stretch to the size of a baby's head during childbirth). The sensitive parts of a woman's genitals are external (clitoral area) and about 1 or 2 inches inside the vagina on the front (anterior) wall - where penis size doesn't really come into play. So if his concerns relate to pleasuring his partner when you do have penetrative sex, this should not be a problem. If his concerns are about the size of his penis symbolising something else, like his 'manliness', you could help him see how irrational this link is. Do remember though, there is only so much you can do, he needs to take on board the rational approach himself...

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lady | 2009-06-28

Ok, but he is right then- he would be considerd small? (BTW 5inch girth)

Reply to Lady
Posted by: Julius | 2009-06-28

Deeper penetration (due to a longer penis) usually DOES NOT result in more pleasure for the lady. For most women greater pleasure comes from the amount of stretch that she experiences at the opening of the vagina, as her partner' s penis enters her vagina and the friction caused in movement in first 1/3 of the vaginal canal. So, to really get great pleasure, a short and thick penis takes precedence over a longer and thinner penis.
Let him know how good he is at oral and that the total encounter is what makes it so special. Mick Jagger said " it is the singer and not the song" .

Reply to Julius

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