Posted by: Wondering Mind | 2009-04-03


this email is for cyberdoc

I was diagnosed with major depression even though I know my friends and family think that I am faking it. i was put on cilift, which i tried to convince myself helped.I have since taken myself off the medication as i was convinced that i didn' t need it anylonger. None the less today I find myself in that same place again, my world feels completely upside down and the sad reality is that no amount of counselling or medication will solve my problem. I' ve walked that path and though I tried to convince myself that yes it helped, it didn' t. Of late I' ve been feeling very lonely and sad. I put up this front that I' m happy but the sad reality again is that I' m not, I' m dying inside I have too many unresolved issues in my life that I suppose it will follow me till the day I close my eyes. I have a major issue trusting people and allowing them to be part of my life because for the ONE reason only and that is that they disappoint me big time. Yet I' m able to advise others when they need help I' m unable to find solutions to my own problems. Yes, I have a husband that loves and tolerate me, and he deserves someone much better then me, my kids that' s another story. I' ve raised them the best way I knew how, even though I' ve made so many mistakes, and boy have I made mistakes, endless ones. There' s this storm brewing inside of me it' s something that I can' t explain. I guess what I' m trying to say is I need a way out of this lonely life I' m leading and I' ve come to one conclision...........

Doctor can you help me PLEASE!!!!!

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Our expert says:
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Sad how often silly people assume that OTHER people's suffering is fake --- never their own. If you work with your doc or shrink to find the Antidepressant (AD) that best suits you, it can help a lot ( but sometimes the best one for you might not be the first one you try ). And then one needs to stay on it for 6 to 9 months to reduce the risk of a relapse --- perhaps what has happened to you.
When you say that no amount of treatment and counselling can help, I really wonder what has been tried, and whether there has been a fair trial of anything. For instance, CBT counselling which I routinely recommend, has loads of good evidence to show that it produces lasting benefits ; most other forms of counselling do NOT, and analytic style counselling is often worse than useless. Medication can help, but only if you persist to find the right med and dose, and take it in the right dose for long enough.
I wonder whether the way you seem convinced that people can't be trusted, has in fact prevented you from working properly with a good counsellor, and thus prevented it from helping you ? It sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy, where expecting to be disappointed causes disappointments, thereby apparently confirming your assumption.
You really do show, if you could only listen to yourself objectively, the sort of profoundly negative habits of thought typical of a depression, and which CBT is specifically designed to counter and fix. Please give yourself a fair chance, and seek out such a therapist --- and meanwhile, see the shrink or doc who has ben giving you the cilift, and tell him/her exactly how you feel, frankly.
Don't give up on life --- it has far more to offer which you just cant see from the position you're in right now. You deserve more, and so do all those who love you

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