Posted by: hubby | 2009-01-19


My wife and I have problem. We have not had sex for 1 year six mts. She has a med. problem that may not go away. I have not had sex for the same time I am faithful to her. But this is now becomming annoying. What can I do.

Thank You

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

sex is a negotiating act, as such, she should recognise that you have certain needs just like the recognition that you have that due to her condition you cannot expect sex every day. if she has no inclination for penetrative sex, she can offer you oral sex or masturbate you in order to keep both parties happy / satisfied. If she refuses or the problem persists, please see a psychologist, counsellor or sexologist for professional support.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zani | 2009-01-19

Huppy stand by her no matter what. She need your support more than anything right now. Am in the same situation right now and u not gonna belive that my fiancee dumped me today because i have a sex problem.
Never stop stop beliving on her, she loves u.

Reply to Zani
Posted by: huddy | 2009-01-19

Thank You same boat

Reply to huddy
Posted by: Same Boat | 2009-01-19

Hey Dude

Sorry to hear about it but just want to let you know Im in same boat. not to drag the story on but wife was diagnosed with bipolar and meds stripped my sex kitten of every bit of her libido. (If at anytime you get bored of this post skip to the last para for the silver lining.. if not keep reading).

Trust me, its not that they dont want to, there just no need on their side... we had many chats about it thats how I know. We discuss the meds with her doc and got recommended others which had less of an effect on her libido but being married &  " celebate"  for a yr still drives me insane.

After a bit of research on my wife condition, i found that the lack of libido for most people, men &  women alike, is due to low self esteem. So I tried...AGAIN,without expectations of immediate results. This time reminded her how sexy she was and how much I wanted her &  spoke about her body as if Heidi Klum had nothing on her.

I hate to say this but the frustrating cliche is true.. be patient &  make her feel good about herself. make her feel as if you not just doing because you are craving for the sex.

I visited Sasha website (just click on " Who is sexologist?"  above). There quite a bit of great tips to use. I converted the tips into games to play &  lets just say the games didnt even get interesting when my wife' s self esteem started returning....

Before I get to the silver lining, you sound like a decent guy &  considering that you havent looked for it elsewhere, must Love your wife ALOT! Let me be the first to say YOU ARE THE MAN for staying loyal.Trust me she knows that and I know from experience the sex is better becos she knows what you did for her. As frustrating as it is HANG IN THERE. Despite my little silver lining below, I still go through weeks where there' s nothing but we talk about it and try other things. Handjobs, BJ' s, even just fantasiZing aloud with each other.

Silver lining - Last week, I was still as frustrated as ever and lets just say the games got her MOJO back in a big way. She jumped me thrice in 3 days.... including waking me with a BJ at 3am and riding the heck out of me till 4:30am.

Dude, it is frustrating but nothing is worth giving up on your wife. Hang in there &  your patience will be rewarded.

All the best

Reply to Same Boat
Posted by: hubby | 2009-01-19


We do indulge in oral and masturbation sex. But this not the same as penetrative sex, and you do miss it.

Thank you

Reply to hubby

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