Posted by: Garfield | 2009-10-08

heartbroken stress

Dear CS,

I broke up with my Fiance, last week I am heart broken about it ... but yet I know it is final and there really is no question of me contining in the relationship (too many chances given already &  broken promises).

I know that I am really stressed, and every now &  again cry to myself  but generally speaking, I am managing ok in work etc. I think that my mind protects me until I am ready to deal with things, and sort of detaches up until that point (if that makes sense?) - a sort o gradual releasing of bite-size chunks.

I know from past experience that when I am stressed my speech is normally one of the first things to go ... I can' t think of even basic words, and often I catch myself slurring (as if I were slightly drunk!) Even when I am aware of ths, I cant seem to pull myself together enough to communicate effectively.

I am not sleeping as well as I nrmally do, but not terribly either all things considered. Appetite has suffered big time and food makes me feel physically sick.

What worries me is this - For the last couple of days after lunch I have been freezing - shivering &  feeling like I may go asleep (which is what happens when I am actually really cold)  even though the weather is warm and noone else is cold).

Today I have had terrible pins and needles sensation in my left arm and hand (like when you fall asleep on your arm and wake up hours later). The functionality of my hand disappeared for about 10 minutes, and then on and off throughout the afternoon!

I am 29, female, healthy &  pretty much together normally!

I have an appointment with a Psychologist on Tuesday, and I am tryng to be kind to myself in the meantime by not pushing myself. But, I would appreciate any suggestions you have in the meantime ... I just get scared that if these are the physical manifestations of the stress my mind is dealing with, then how am I going to cope when my mind actually lets me deal with it?

Do you think i need something in the meantime to calm me until I can deal with it better?

As always, I sincerely value your opinion!!


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Our expert says:
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Sorry to hear of your troubles, Garfield. You describe some of the experiences of coping with this sort of loss rather well ; but some of the features you describe are not common as part of that pattern. So it's good that you are to see a psychologist for an assessment ( and make sure you mention ALL of these symptoms ) --- and indeed even seeing a neurologist, just to be sure, might be wise, to check out that from a physical point of view the nervous system is in good condition. I'm sure the psychologist can help you develop fresh CBT-type skills to handle the stresses better. But let's make sure there is absolutely nothing else complicating this, and then wrap[ up the stress itself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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