Our expert says:
YOU thought of him as your bf - apparently he did not, which makes one wonder, indeed, what he thought he was doing, living with you for 5 years. It sounds like a very comfortable and enjoyable companionship, rather than a significantly loving emotional relationship on his side. It sounds very satisfying for him, and he may have just sat cheerfully in his comfort zone, with nothing particular to gain from marriage or indeed from changing anything.
You feel deeply in love with him ; perhaps to a significant extent also in love with the idea of being in love, and while he may have taken our affections for granted while looking for nothing more, you seem to have rather assumed his love without checking this out with him, either.
Couples counsellign of course might help, but at least you each owe it to each other to spend some calm time really frankly talking this through, to at least inderstand each other better, and to be better placed to make good decisions about where to go from here.
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