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Question
Posted by: phumla | 2012/05/25

heartache and dissapointed

Hi anyone please help me, i''m one person who likes and loves people a lot i laugh and joke with anyone at church, work or with my relatives and inlaws, but now at work people hate me they say i like news, when they discuss something especially ladies they don''t tell me i just see them doing that thing they never even discussed with me, it''s like they gossip about me, i''m a receptionist at work and my duty is to be flexible with anyone maybe they think i like their news, one of them even came to tell me that i like rumours, ohh am so hurt and dissapointed, the moment u try to please someone is the more the hurt comes back to u. i feels so hurt in such way that i don''t know to smile or laugh with them anymore, sometimes they will come and ask me things or news that i heard from my bosses because they ask me i tell them, but at the end of the day they tell me that i like gossiping about others, please help since i feel like crying right now infact i am crying coz these hurt me a lot what must i do in this situation.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm puzzled as to why anyone, such as at work, would or could "hate" you. From your comments, it sounds as though they think YOU gossip, and that anything they tell you in confidence you will broadcast to others. IS that possibly true ? Even if you don't think so, there must be some reason why they would all feel this was so.
They wouldn't know if you secretly, inside, liked rumours and gossip, so they must be assuming this because you seem more interested in such chat, and really excited by it, and maybe you seem much less interested in more serious discussions on other topics. Maybe they're misunderstanding you, but you can still change this for the better.
If people ask you for information about others, play politely dumb - smile, but say sorry, you don't know about that, and that it isn't your job or your preference to talk about other people - why don't they ask the other person, themselves, directly ? Tell them you try not to listen in when the bosses or other people are talking, so you aren't able to report things from them, and that if someone chooses to tell you something in confidence, then obviously uyou would keep it confidential and couldn't talk about it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/26

I'm puzzled as to why anyone, such as at work, would or could "hate" you. From your comments, it sounds as though they think YOU gossip, and that anything they tell you in confidence you will broadcast to others. IS that possibly true ? Even if you don't think so, there must be some reason why they would all feel this was so.
They wouldn't know if you secretly, inside, liked rumours and gossip, so they must be assuming this because you seem more interested in such chat, and really excited by it, and maybe you seem much less interested in more serious discussions on other topics. Maybe they're misunderstanding you, but you can still change this for the better.
If people ask you for information about others, play politely dumb - smile, but say sorry, you don't know about that, and that it isn't your job or your preference to talk about other people - why don't they ask the other person, themselves, directly ? Tell them you try not to listen in when the bosses or other people are talking, so you aren't able to report things from them, and that if someone chooses to tell you something in confidence, then obviously uyou would keep it confidential and couldn't talk about it.

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