Posted by: Debbie | 2008-11-18

He wants to come back to my life

Hi, Doc
the father of my baby left me a long time ago. he abused me hurt me and did not wanrt to support my child. he went and married someone else less than a year he left me and i have been with him for many years. now he says he is unhappy he wants me back in his life ,he never should have let me go. he is not coping and enjoying life without me. i need to know what is he up to because i do not trust him, he is up to something but i do not know what exactly.


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Our expert says:
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An abuser is hardly welcome to return. His reason sounds not credible, and to be more about what he needs than any thought about what would benefit you. I understand full well why you don't trust him. So why not just say a polite NO and move ahead with your own life ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Concerned | 2008-11-18

Hi Debbie

Just be very careful with someone like your Ex  he might have dangerous and stupid intentions for wanting to get back to you.

About 10 yrs ago a friend of mine was in a similar situation. The father of her son left her after discovering that she was pregnant with his baby. My friend was a teenager by then and still at school. After the baby was born my friend' s mom took care of the baby and my friend went back to finish her high school and she also went to tertiary. She started working when the baby was about 4yrs and she was a successful young mom. The boyfriend was out of the picture for all these years and never paid a single cent for his son.

When the boy was 5, the boyfriend started contacting my friend and the child. He started taking the responsibilities of a father  after a short period he started to declare his love for my friend and the way he regrets for leaving her. She eventually fell for all the his lies, though we were discouraging but she was blinded by his lies.

they got back together for exactly six weeks, after that he disappeared. She looked for him but he was no where to be found. He came back after few months and he told her that he was HIV POSITIVE and that' s the reason he got back to her in order to infect her. He then left and went to his place but he was found dead the next morning (he committed suicide). Unfortunately it was too late for my friend to turn back the clock, she was also HIV +. She took it very badly and we lost her in 2006 due to her HIV status and she was deeply depressed because of the whole thing.

I' m not saying this could be the case, but I think you just need to be extra careful. You managed to be without this guy for sometime and that means you can still manage to be without him.

All the best.

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