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Question
Posted by: Jay | 2012/08/06

He want me to allow him to sleep out after partying with friends

We moved in together last year March and things are kind of ok between us. On the 15th of June 2012 he went out with his friends ( Boys Night Out ) and he came back at 7 in the morning. I was not impressed with it and yes we kind of had a small argument about it. Fine things went back to normal and last week he told me he wants to go out with his friends then I said to him fine but what time are you coming back then he said he will be back around 12 midnight and again he said he is not sure. He does not have a car nor the driver’ s license and I have both. Then again I said ask your friend cause he’ s got license to come get the car then you both go out have fun and come back cause I don’ t want you to sleep out. His friend kept him waiting and he never showed up till 8 at night. Then he was so angry at me that I do not want him to go out and come back the next day. And on Saturday he called me while he was at work he told me that he is going out with his friends again and I should come back at ten to fetch him somewhere in Booysens. At ten I left my house went to Booysens and he was not there he was somewhere I don’ t know. After waiting for about 20 minutes they finally came with his friends and yes we left. Yesterday ( Sunday ) his friends came over to our place and I gave them some space went out and when I came back around 5 in the afternoon I found him alone very angry I asked why and he kept on saying nothing. We woke up without talking and yeah I dropped him off at work and he did not even say goodbye. And I decide to call him and he told me the reason why he is angry its because I don’ t want to allow him to sleep out after partying and he does not often go out and when he does I don’ t want to let him sleep out. Please advise should I allow my man to sleep out everytime he parties with friends?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds a bit too immature to be in any serious relationship. And he sounds far more involved with his friends than with you. Why is this all about him, and what he wants ? And why is it all about him going out with his friends, but not with you ?
Ordinarily, OK, there may be times when someone's car breaks down, or for other reasons its not practical to get home till the next morning but nobody usually needs to sleep out every time they go out. Or, if they are in a live-in relationship with someone, to keep going out without them.
What you fel contented to acept is up to you ; I think many wopmen would not find this whole arrangement encouraging or satisfactory

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Deardo | 2012/08/06

It so sad what they expect us to understand and tolarate. Maybe you should ask him where does he want to sleep? I dont think they understand that we are concern about thier safety as well. But anyway good luck.

Reply to Deardo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/06

He sounds a bit too immature to be in any serious relationship. And he sounds far more involved with his friends than with you. Why is this all about him, and what he wants ? And why is it all about him going out with his friends, but not with you ?
Ordinarily, OK, there may be times when someone's car breaks down, or for other reasons its not practical to get home till the next morning but nobody usually needs to sleep out every time they go out. Or, if they are in a live-in relationship with someone, to keep going out without them.
What you fel contented to acept is up to you ; I think many wopmen would not find this whole arrangement encouraging or satisfactory

Reply to cybershrink

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