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Question
Posted by: dot | 2009-01-26

He touches himself ALL THE TIME!!

Hi doc. I posted this ? on Man talk and it was suggested I ask you. My new bf touches himself all the time.. when he reads he plays with himself, when he watches tv he plays with himself, after sex he plays with himself... is this normal? He is 41.... I have asked him about it and his answer was " it feels nice" !! We have sex sometimes 5 x per day. I am starting to feel inadequate!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I think that the frequency of self-touch and frequency of sex may be linked but not necessarily so...If he is touching to the point that it is masturbating then it may be that he is used to very high levels of stimulation. The frequency of sex is quite high, but then you are in a new relationship, so if that level is ok for you, then it may well be okay. I would be interested to know how he responds if you don't want sex - does he have to stimulate himself? If so, then does he do so as you described, or does he access porn? In this scenario I would suggest an assessment by a professional - if he won't go, then you go to ascertain whether your concerns are valid.

If he is simply 'playing' but not stimulating per se, then it may be just for comfort and this may be more of a 'socially undesirable thing' than a problematic sexual matter...I wonder what he does in company, or in at work...?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Pat | 2009-01-26

He probably does not play with himself when you are not around him. He touches himself so that he could be aroused. How else do you think he' ll manage 5 rounds? Instead of complaining, you should also touch him. I am certain that once you fondle him, he' ll start realising the difference and that your touch is much better than his own!!!

Reply to Pat
Posted by: TI | 2009-01-26

what is normal? done by majority ? he says it feels nice.

it has nothing to do with you madam, it just gddam feels nice leave it at tHAT

Reply to TI

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