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Question
Posted by: Rina | 2012-06-06

he thinks i am a fool

I was involved with a man of 43 yrs and the relationship was nt good enough for me as the man was not communicating well with me and we were not spending much time together.The only time where he was communicating was when he needs sex and thats where we would spend time together.

I stopped the relationship and he agreed but he keeps on calling and sending me sms telling me he loves and miss me.So i asked me to stop that and HE SAID ITS BULLSHIT IM HIS LOVE.

so i do not realy know whats he wants as i tried to ignore him and he just comes to my place unexpectedly and embarass me before my child as i informed her that its over between me and him.The other problem is i think he took advantage that he knows that I LOVE HIM.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Are you really satisfied with a man who only "communicates" when he wants sex ? Presumably when you parted, he missed the sex, and suddenly started talking about love beause he thought that was what you'd want to get back and start delivering again. Isn't it really obvious what he really wants ? And its not a romantic and loving relationship, judging by your description. And to embarrass you in front of your child and ignore your feelings is NOT loving at all.
What on earth do you find about such a person, that makes him worthy of your love ?
Leaving aside the issue of whether "Mr Right" is anything but a myth, selfish guys who only want sex NEVER EVER turn into Mr Right, not even with major surgery. Why do you think so little of yourself, that you ae thinking as though this guy is somehow your only chance of meeting a nice guy who actually loves you for more than sex ?
He won't change. If this is all you want, accept it and stop complaining. If you recognize that you deserve far more, dump him, and tell him you'll get a restraining order from court unless he leaves you alone ; and move on and explore nicer people.
Sorry to hear of Dee Dee's disappointments. Getting such an order shouldn't be so difficult, and works well in places where there are competent people in the magistrate's court ( OK, that does make it hard in areas where the magistrates are unskilled, uncaring, or badly trained.

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Our users say:
Posted by: DeeDee | 2012-06-06

Why do people think a restraining order now called a peace order is so easy to get?

Have you tried in the last couple of years? Its NOT that easy. You have to prove so many things and when your day is at court - yes at court you don''t just apply and get one - then he is there as well.

You have no idea how hard it is to get a peace order so that is not an option.

Reply to DeeDee
Posted by: Maria | 2012-06-06

So if all you want is a s*x buddy he sounds perfect. If you want an actual relationship you will have to keep looking. Wishing he was someone different to who he is won''t change him.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: geez | 2012-06-06

Block him or change your number and get a restraining order from the police so he cant come near you...that''s if you serious about it but it sounds like you are thriving on this negative attention he is giving you!!

Reply to geez
Posted by: Rina | 2012-06-06

Truthfully there is nothing special about him just got taken by his looks and i have a desire of being with him and i was hoping that he will one day turns out to be my MR RIGHT as the man is singlle

Reply to Rina
Posted by: Maria | 2012-06-06

What do you love about him? Because there is nothing positive in your description. Are you sure you''re not just used to him, or that it''s physical desire you feel?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-06-06

Are you really satisfied with a man who only "communicates" when he wants sex ? Presumably when you parted, he missed the sex, and suddenly started talking about love beause he thought that was what you'd want to get back and start delivering again. Isn't it really obvious what he really wants ? And its not a romantic and loving relationship, judging by your description. And to embarrass you in front of your child and ignore your feelings is NOT loving at all.
What on earth do you find about such a person, that makes him worthy of your love ?
Leaving aside the issue of whether "Mr Right" is anything but a myth, selfish guys who only want sex NEVER EVER turn into Mr Right, not even with major surgery. Why do you think so little of yourself, that you ae thinking as though this guy is somehow your only chance of meeting a nice guy who actually loves you for more than sex ?
He won't change. If this is all you want, accept it and stop complaining. If you recognize that you deserve far more, dump him, and tell him you'll get a restraining order from court unless he leaves you alone ; and move on and explore nicer people.
Sorry to hear of Dee Dee's disappointments. Getting such an order shouldn't be so difficult, and works well in places where there are competent people in the magistrate's court ( OK, that does make it hard in areas where the magistrates are unskilled, uncaring, or badly trained.

Reply to cybershrink

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