Posted by: Confused | 2009-01-16



I started corresponding with a guy per E-mail beginning November on a dating site. We met each other on 1 December and hit it off from the start. We started seeing each other over week-ends. We talked and laughed and had great fun. I went away for Christmas and he gave me a lovely gift and card telling me he loves me very much and thanking me for bringing so much joy to his life. In the card he also said together at last. We had a wonderful time over new year. He said 2009 is going to be our year. He told me that he has a reason to work for since he met me and that I inspire him.He had urgent work to finish last week and phoned me on Friday and promised to phone again on Saturday, which he never did. Since then I haven' t heard a word from him no E-mails, phonecalls not even an SMS. I removed myself from the dating site in the meantime as I had found my match, but he still loggs in every day.

Did he simply lose interest in me and didn' t have the guts to tell me or what? I won' t contact him to find out as that will be very humilating. I care a lot for him and don' t know what to think Was I a fool to believe him or do you think there is some kind of explanation for this sudden change?


Kind regards


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello C,
Its odd how many people essentially ask me to do some mind-reading. IF even you, who know the person pretty well, can't figure out what they're thinking or why they did something, there's really no chance that anyone at a distance will be able to guess accurately what's going on.
Dating sites produce profit for those operating the sites, but few lasting and satisfying relationships.
Sounds like you two got on well together in person. But now ? Maybe he's not as much into you as it seemed ; maybe he's run into acute problems at work or elsewhere, which are taking all his attention.
Don't reject the idea of contacting him --- just don't let it sound needy. You can e-mail or otherwise contact him and simply say you are puzzled by his silence, after the warmth and entuisiasm he showed earlier, and would like to know what's going on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Realist | 2009-01-19

Sorry about that. I know it can be lonely out there, but there are a lot of creepy people about who feel feathers for your emotions. Talk is cheap. Dont be at all trusting in the beginning as you have to protect your emotions and your personal safety. Without being paranoid I would have found and confirmed all his details of what " work"  he does and where he really lives, go there, take is SLOW.
" Love"  is a word that is so abused, it becomes meaningless. When someone tell you that he " loves"  you, ask him what does he understand by the meaning of the word. If he responds in any way other than by focussing all his wishes and intentions just to make you happy and never wants anything for himself, he may be in the right track. As son as he wants or expects anything in return for himself, be very careful. Remember, LOVE is only giving to the other. Never ask for anything in return and if you both follow that principle you will both receive !
Forget him, he sounds like a chancer !

Reply to Realist
Posted by: Lin | 2009-01-17

Could it be possible that he' s married or in a serious relationship?
Otherwise maybe it' s good that he' s showing his true colors this early in your relationship. Mail him and tell him that you would like him to be frank in telling you if he wants to continue the relationhip. If he still doesn' t answer, move on.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Tikkila | 2009-01-16

Read the book " He' s just not that into you" 

Reply to Tikkila

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