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Question
Posted by: Ania | 2011-02-03

he soils himself

Hi CS

I think i've written about this about 3-4 years ago about my child who's occasionally soil himself. He is now 7 years old and he will do it like once or twice a week. I've spanked, shouted and threatened to tell his friends - but nothing is working!

I've made a promise to him that there will not be any spanking or shouting anymore as i was feeling really bad and i thought it was abuse. Only yesterday he re assured me that he wasn't going to do it again, guess what this morning whilst bathing him - i noticed that he hadn't wiped himself properly and asked him when did this happen and he just kept quiet and I let go of it.

Few minutes later whilst putting lotion on his body - he had soiled himself a little bit and he didn't even try to stop me from touching him - I was really disgusted and upset but I did not react in a way that I'd normally do!

I've tried finding out if there's anything that I should know about, whether he was being bullied or any sort of thing that makes him sad - he just stood there with a blank expression and began crying silently! This breaks my heart, he is the only child I have and as much as I'm a single mom.

I try my best to make him happy but clearly I'm failing at something! what should I do? Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As you've discovered, however frustrating this is, spanking and shouting simply don't help.

The reactions you descibe from him are so sad. Take him to see a good child psychiatrist for a proper assessment. Occcasionally there are physical causes which make it much harder for a child to remain continent ; but usually the causes are psychological and it can be solved.

YOU ARE NOT FAILING ; and HE IS NOT FAILING. But more expertise is needed to gently assess the situation and help him to get this right.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Ania | 2011-02-03

Thanks CS, will get on with it right away!

Reply to Ania
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-03

As you've discovered, however frustrating this is, spanking and shouting simply don't help.

The reactions you descibe from him are so sad. Take him to see a good child psychiatrist for a proper assessment. Occcasionally there are physical causes which make it much harder for a child to remain continent ; but usually the causes are psychological and it can be solved.

YOU ARE NOT FAILING ; and HE IS NOT FAILING. But more expertise is needed to gently assess the situation and help him to get this right.

Reply to cybershrink

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