Our expert says:
As you've discovered, however frustrating this is, spanking and shouting simply don't help.
The reactions you descibe from him are so sad. Take him to see a good child psychiatrist for a proper assessment. Occcasionally there are physical causes which make it much harder for a child to remain continent ; but usually the causes are psychological and it can be solved.
YOU ARE NOT FAILING ; and HE IS NOT FAILING. But more expertise is needed to gently assess the situation and help him to get this right.
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