Our expert says:
Interesting, in that the experience of marrying, being a wife, and having another surname is something you have done before. Maybe it's because it ended unhappily that you feel nervous ? I guess even with marriage, the surname is voluntary. The vows you once made with the Ex were formally ended when you divorced. Interseting , too that you did NOT feel this way about living with another man and having a child by him --- but the technicality of marriage seems more of a betrayal fo the vows ? Your relationhip as it is now, with your ex can of course continue, as can your relationship with his family. Has he expressed concern about your prospective re-marriage ? And he is in a new apparently lasting relationship, too. Interesting that one wants committment until it is offered to you. Why do you feel MARRYING your friend could be such a big mistake, while living with him and having a child by him, is not ? Maybe even a couple of sessions with a counsellor could help you clarify your thinking and emotions here ?
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