Our expert says:
Are those romantic feelings realistic ? Its easiest to feel them about someone at a distance, when they're not immediately around to be different from what you're imagining.
If you feel fond of him but feel sure you cant tell him without this "destroying what we have", isn't there something odd about what you DO have ? Doesnt this suggest that you feel fairly sure he doesnt feel about you the way you feel about him ?
People's mood may vary naturally, or as a result of psych problems - but that's not an excuse for being rude and nasty. He needs to be encouraged to see the appropriate specialist to help with his problems of depression and pain ( depression is a potent amplifier of pain from whatever other source )and get these properly treated.
If he is failin to get the proper advice, or to take it, there's not much point in sympathizing, or in allowing him to treat you badly as a result of s situation which, to the extent that it is inadequatrly treated, is indeed his choice and his fault.
its not at all clear what positive he contributes to you by being in your life -have you ever thought about this seriously ?Do you really not feel able just to let this relationship fade out, and to form other more healthy and positive relationships ? He can't be your only chance for friendship or more.
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