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Posted by: nn | 2009-12-17

He is driving me crazy

I have been dating a guy for 3 months now. We is recently divorced (5 months ago). His ex wife messed him around over and over with the same guy. I know that he finds it hard to trust someone again and that his divorce has really affected him badly. I try and be there for him and be supportive but he just pushes me away. I am at the point where I feel like I am loosing my mind because of him. With it being then end of the year, I have alot of company functions to attend to. If we are allowed to bring partners then I do invite him but he will refuse to come with. Then the very next night he will not answer my calls and go and have a fat jol with his friends (even if the two of us have made plans to see each other). He has done this 4 times in a row already. Bare in mind that he is 41 and I am 25. He will literally go out of his way to make sure that he gets me back and so that he can hurt me. And then the very next day he will call me crying on the phone. He is very insecure. I get accused to sleeping with my boss and work colleagues. I even got accused of going after his cousin who is engaged. One night he even physically attacked myself and his cousin because we were chatting. He goes through my phone all the time. A lot of the time he will have something ugly to say. He always wants to go out drinking and wants to show me off to his friends all the time. I feel like I am a piece of meat to him. He drinks too much and gets way out of hand. I actually do not know what to do anymore because I am actually starting to hate this man. I know he has been through a lot and I want to help him but I just cannot do this anymore. Because of his divorced, he has become a very selfish person and does not care about anyone’ s feelings other than his own.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I keep having to say - if possible, avoid rushing into fresh relationships while either of you is still hurting and healing from a prior break-up. He really doesn't sound as though he is in any genuine relationship with you. He sounds far too immature and muddled to enter into any serious relationship. Why are you apparently assuming that this is your only chance at a relationship ? Move on - you deserve better than this

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Well | 2009-12-17

He is not into u, i dont think this guy loves u, he just needs u to cope with his devorce..if i were u, i will dump his sorry ass, u still young and u deserve better not an old man who think like a baby..

Reply to Well
Posted by: maggie | 2009-12-17

Dump him!!!! He will not change his behavior. Maybe this is why he is divorced???

Reply to maggie
Posted by: Really | 2009-12-17

Hi there,

This person sounds like he caused the divorce of his first marriage! He sounds abusive, insensitive and selfish. Whatever it is, that is he is, he needs to first deal with the fact that he is now divorced. It sounds like he is using you to deal with his divorce frustrations.

Why dont you just do things without involving him, afterall, he does not care and not even show up when you invite him?

4 times in a row of not accompanying you, in a sort of new relationship, gal this man is not the one for you. He maybe 41 and you 25, but I believe age does not matter!.

Dump the scrap off you and move on!

Goodluck!

Reply to Really
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-12-17

I keep having to say - if possible, avoid rushing into fresh relationships while either of you is still hurting and healing from a prior break-up. He really doesn't sound as though he is in any genuine relationship with you. He sounds far too immature and muddled to enter into any serious relationship. Why are you apparently assuming that this is your only chance at a relationship ? Move on - you deserve better than this

Reply to cybershrink

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