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Question
Posted by: Megan | 2009-03-30

He is Crazy

Hi CS!

Not sure what to do.
Firstly my father has not been working for over a year now and when he did it was off and on.Working perhaps for a month and then without for 2 and then working a week ...but for a year has not been doing anything really just perhaps working one day a month.
I think he also has some mental problem which runs in his family.
He makes very poor decisions.He is irrational, has a temper- not always but there comes a time when he just explodes...
He would break anything in his way, throw things around, threaten to kill himself and everyone else etc.

When I was young I remember this used to happen often enough ... he used to smoke almost 2packs a day, which I think helped because when he smoked he wouldn' t lose it.
but then it stopped going on like this for a few years, he also stopped smoking.
When he stopped smoking we just stayed out of his way or he would crack over anything.
My problem is that I have 2 siblings and I hate for them to have to go through all of this.
I think it really affects their self esteem too as they have no confidence at all.
The past few months we have had to deal with this about 2times a week.
We replaced all the doors in our house a while back as they were all kicked or punched in, mine was hit off its hinges, evidence on the walls as things are thrown,hit,punched etc.

The last my sibling had an argument, something really petty and I gave my input... it was simple to see who was at fault at what was to be done.No this man went on as if it was the end of the world! He said he was going to kill himself and then I told him to just do it and get it over! Then he really saw red! He turned the kitchen upside down, broke most of the appliances, wanted to hit me over the head with a vase which he ended up throwing broken on the floor , cracked the tiles.The grabbed a display sword swung it around and ended up hitting the wall with it cracking the edge.
Simple things he just cannot deal with... The remote was not working while he was trying to change the channel and my sister laughed he got so upset he threw the remote broken against the TV.
When he has a bit of money instead of buying etc he would buy PS games for my baby brother because ' that' s what he promised to get him' ... how can you spend R300 - R600 on games when we struggling to put food on the table.
It stresses me so out when I know what im left with at the end of the month and how im going to pay school fees and whatever else is needed and he just goes and purchases games and things that is not really needed.
Also nothing can be said about this or its world war 2.

I think he needs to be put onto something ... something needs to be done asap as this cannot go on esp..for my siblings.
He will not go to a Dr. he wont even go to the dentist... We will never be able to get him to any mental hospital as he dsnt think there' s anything wrong with him.
Most of the men in his family are crazy, they don' t work- are not able to work,have tempers,violent outbursts, he even has a cousin that turned out to be a beggar sleeping on the street.

My brother also acts like this when he is angry-, slams doors etc.and when he was young he used to hurt our pets...He just started seeing a psychologist as he performs very poorly at school, he is 12 but cannot read and has difficulty in every other aspect of school.

My dad never finished primary school and his mother allowed him to stay out and do whatever he wanted.
My mom is ill she has diabetes and high blood pressure and this is making her even more ill.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe you can discuss this with social workers, or a GP who knows him, but he sounds extremely difficult and unwilling to see anyone or be treated. I wonder whether, with his limited education, he is embarrassed at not getting job,s or at being inadequate when he does get a job. What you describe sounds mainly like a personality disorder, difficult to treat, and impossible unless the person sincerely wants to change and actively seeks and cooperates with, help. You don't mention your ages, but presumably you and your sibs are rather young if you still need to live with your parents, and can't get a place for yourselves ( which might also be a refuge for your mom, when dad is on the rampage.
I hope other readers can have some useful suggestions. I can only suggest seeing a counsellor or social worker near you, perhaps chatting by phone with Lifeline, to explore what realistic options there are near where you live

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: MM | 2009-04-01

I agree the Police (I know sounds scary but listen) they have a unit that deals with " mental patient"  what they do is they come with a social worker to see the family they only come in cases where a possible violent outburst could happen to ensure the safety of the other family members while the situation is assessed if the person does show as they work with this daily any signs they can admit him for observation if a risk does exist that the family might be in trouble or the safety of the children is at risk.. he will then be assessed and if he is declared mental patient he can get a " grant as a mental which could help your family financially and he would be given medication as a Gov patient .. think about this ..

Reply to MM
Posted by: dawn | 2009-03-30

it sounds like your dad is depressed.
i think you should get social workers involved.

Reply to dawn

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